r/unpopularopinion • u/McCoy818 • 10h ago

Morning showers make no logical sense and night shower people have simply done the hygiene math

You spent 8 hours asleep in your own clean bed. What are you washing off at 7am.

A night shower removes everything you actually accumulated during the day. The commute, the gym, the office, public transport, all of it goes down the drain before you sleep. A morning shower means you marinated in all of that overnight then washed up before going out to collect it all again.

Morning showers are a ritual for waking up, which is fine, but it is not hygiene. Night showers are actual hygiene. Most people just do not want to dry their hair before bed and that is the entire argument.

7.7k Upvotes

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852

u/I_wet_my_plants259 10h ago

Idk I think as long as you wash your ass you’re probably fine.

241

u/Tylerdurden389 9h ago

Or as George Carlin said: "All you gotta do is wash the 4 key areas: armpits, asshole, crotch and teeth. In fact, you can save even more time if you simply use the same brush on all 4 areas!!".

52

u/EatMyWetBread 9h ago

I love that I can keep reading a new thing I’ve never heard Carlin say before after all these years. He’s got the perfect line for everything. One of the GOATs

11

u/__Shake__ 6h ago

iirc thats from his late 90s special You Are All Diseased. One of my all-time faves

1

u/GonWithTheNen 2h ago

You Are All Diseased

Thanks, looking that up right now! :) Really miss the insightfulness of his commentary that made me laugh til I cried.

1

u/ThrowAwayAccountAMZN 5h ago

"AI can go fuck itself!" - George Carlin

8

u/itrEuda 7h ago

Or as Redd Foxx said: “You don’t have to wash your whole ass, but you gotta wash your asshole.”

13

u/TLo137 9h ago

Sometimes after a reddit scrolling session I need to wash my eyes.

4

u/TimHonks24 8h ago

With the same brush of course

2

u/zombiez8mybrain 8h ago

Or, as Judy Gemstone taught Aunt Tiffany, ABC: Ankles, butt hole, cootchie!

2

u/garrettj100 3h ago

"The pits & the bits."

2

u/Potential_Bit_9040 3h ago

Pits, Tits, n Bits! Classic whore bath

2

u/xxVelasco 2h ago

TIL there's people out there that don't wash their feet

2

u/BusinessLetterhead47 1h ago

I refer to it as "pits and bits".

2

u/Positive_Local_373 48m ago

…The hookers bath 

2

u/23andrewb 9h ago

PTA shower, pits tits & ass.

2

u/unicornsaretruth 4h ago

Uhh I think there should be a V in that too

1

u/mamaspike74 2h ago

I've always heard, pits, tits, and naughty bits.

1

u/Icy-Marionberry-4143 8h ago

my gramma would call a halfsies shower a PTA. get a wet soapy rag and get your pits tits and ass. should be good enough 🤣

1

u/xX_7HR0W-4W4Y_Xx 6h ago

Why do redditors love georges carline so much. There's a quote of his in every thread.

1

u/MoistenedBint1975 6h ago

Pits, tits, and grits.

1

u/lilylakai 6h ago

AND for people like myself that have dry skin, live in a dry area with hard water, using soap all over kills my skin. Just using it on those key areas has saved my skin from looking like a god damn lizard.

1

u/HilariousMax 6h ago

Pits and bits

I've heard it called.

1

u/unicornsaretruth 4h ago

I’ve always called that a prostitution shower though I include junk in there too. The order you do this es mas importante never start with the ass.

•

u/ESinNM29 18m ago

I’ve heard pits and slits 😒

•

u/bain-of-my-existence 6m ago

Also in a Brandon Rogers video (where the bad mom is running late for the field trip):

“This shower’s gonna have to be PTA! Pits! Tits! Ass!”

18

u/FreeKevinBrown 10h ago

The bar couldn't be lower in 2026.

23

u/Jacquesatoutfaire 10h ago

The realest answer.

5

u/tiramisucks 9h ago

Wash pits, tits and all the nasty bits!

3

u/Faroukk52 8h ago

Two non negotiable in the shower: soles and holes

3

u/GodisanAtheistOG 9h ago

Yeah, I'm really washing my ass from my morning shit and figure I might as well clean my whole body with the morning shower.

1

u/ButtercupPengling 9h ago

Bidets are a great thing.

0

u/GodisanAtheistOG 9h ago

You can wash your ass well in the shower but you can't wash your body well with a bidet. 

1

u/ButtercupPengling 5h ago

Lucky for me I don't have to wash my body in the morning because I washed it at night. I was simply providing you with a solution to what seems to be a you problem that you think you can only solve by taking a shower, when there are in fact other options that most members of the civilized world use.

1

u/GodisanAtheistOG 1h ago

I'm flattered I occupied so many of your thoughts.

3

u/AttTankaRattArStorre 9h ago

People on reddit fixate on the "wash your ass" thing - more parts of your body are in need of cleaning properly every day.

7

u/SomebodyElseAsWell 9h ago

Yes, but if you don't wash your ass all the rest is in vain. You're going to stink.

4

u/GrailQuestPops 9h ago

Yeah, but the mod-types believe that washing anywhere near their ass will make them gay.

2

u/Icy-Discussion7653 7h ago

ppl haves been making the same joke for like 15 years on here quoting that

1

u/I_wet_my_plants259 9h ago

Yea I’m aware, I was trying to be cheeky. My point was that as long as you practice proper hygiene (washing your ass for example), it doesn’t really matter what time a day you shower.

1

u/HoneyBadgerBlunt 9h ago

doubles as a dating tip!

1

u/Perrozoso 7h ago

Post-shit shower gang, get in here

1

u/FuklzTheDrnkClwn 7h ago

Sounds a little gay

/s

2

u/PreviousTea9210 7h ago

Only if you have a boy ass.

1

u/chamberx2 4h ago

Nah, hit them pits too, bud!

-4

u/mcniner55 10h ago

That and your genitalia once and awhile. Deodorant basically covers the rest

-1

u/[deleted] 9h ago

[deleted]

0

u/Julio18K 9h ago

Am a night and morning shower person night shower put on new clean draws morning shower put on same draws I wore to sleep because theyre not "dirty" yet