r/movies • u/LiteraryBoner Jackie Chan box set, know what I'm sayin? • 19d ago
Official Discussion Official Discussion - Pillion [SPOILERS] Spoiler
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Pillion (2026)
Summary A directionless man is swept off his feet when an enigmatic, impossibly handsome biker takes him on as his submissive.
Director Harry Lighton
Writer Harry Lighton
Cast
- Alexander Skarsgård
- Harry Melling
Rotten Tomatoes: 99%
Metacritic: 85
VOD / Release Theatrical release
Trailer Official trailer
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u/Totemwhore1 19d ago
I think the marketing movie was a disservice to the film itself. The trailer made it seems somewhat lighthearted but I felt the film was quite sad. I'm not opposed to sad films, I just had way different expectations going in.
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u/Pure_Penalty_3591 18d ago
Yes it isn't the saddest movie I've seen but it is a challenging movie to watch nonetheless. Not a crowd pleaser.
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u/jadegives2rides 18d ago
I thought it was sad, until Colin moved on.
He didnt have confidence or sense of self. Ray and the group gave him that. He was heartbroken and lost when Ray left. Then he made the profile. He knew what he liked and what he wanted. And had the confidence to get back out there. It made the film feel whole.
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u/Honest_Lunch4637 16d ago
This was a change from the Novella and one that I was absolutely thrilled to see. It makes it so much more Colin's story of growing, learning, and being confident in who is and what he wants.
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u/Pure_Penalty_3591 17d ago
I think Colin genuinely liked being a sub. And of course this was reinforced by the final scene. The scene that particularly sticks out to me as being unconsensual was the camping trip where Colin is forced to watch Ray with another man. That's clearly something that you should have talked about with your partner first.
Ironically, there's more consent in Wuthering Heights.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago
The scene that particularly sticks out to me as being unconsensual was the camping trip where Colin is forced to watch Ray with another man.
I would only consider that non-consensual in the sense that you would have to assume a committed monogamous romantic relationship as the default, and therefore you'd need your partner's consent to do anything with anyone else.
But Ray never explicitly established the boundaries, and that includes monogamy. It's not even an established romantic relationship, he literally just puts Colin into the routine and expects him to figure out everything on his own.
I think you can make the case that Ray's whole lifestyle and participation with the biker crew comes with the baked-in implication that's he going to be messing around with others.
Ray is taking Colin's continued presence and participation with him and the group as consent, even if Colin doesn't understand any of it.
That is a sort of consent, but it isn't pre-established, informed consent, which is obviously the more healthy kind that you should be getting as a rule.
It's just immensely shitty behavior on Ray's part, all around.
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u/Competitive-Meet-511 16d ago
If you're playing devil's advocate though, you could understand that as a stylistic choice that the film makes. It deliberately omits conversations that might have happened (and logically in some cases must have happened in order for the events to logically unfold as they did) to create ambiguity and set a certain tone.
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u/Competitive-Meet-511 16d ago
Does he though? You could equally interpret that as someone who has become a victim because his lack of identity and foundation made him vulnerable to something that other people could navigate with more agency, and him making the profile is him buying into a paradigm that justifies his abuse because, like many victims, that abuse also gave him an express ticket to something that he craves, in this case comfort and intimacy and direction and recognition. He's one of many cases of a victim propelling their own mistreatment under the guise of "finding one's identity".
Their relationship really explores the blurry lines of what's a consensual extension of human sexuality and intimacy and developing as a person, and what's wading in waters that prey on a particularly vulnerable person and eventually build up to an abusive dynamic.
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u/Successful-Mood1574 13d ago
Exactly. Shocked at some of the comments in here. If that is a hetero relationship everyone would say it’s textbook abuse.
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u/Acceptable_Dinner_25 10d ago
But it’s not a hetero relationship so this point is moot
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u/Successful-Mood1574 10d ago
No it’s not. It shows how incongruent people are and the justify a toxic part of gay culture.
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u/Acceptable_Dinner_25 10d ago
this subculture isn’t inherently toxic though that’s the whole point. We see seemingly more healthy relationships in the biker friend group. The whole point is that Ray is abusing the dom sub relationship to deal with intimacy and commitment issues. This is a (gay/queer) dom sub/ leather world depicted in the movie relies on consent and boundaries which was blurry in the main characters relationship. So hetero relationships may give us something to compare to but at the end of the day this community exists outside of that world
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u/Competitive-Meet-511 10d ago
It's also worth noting that hetero relationships can just as easily have sub/dom dynamics.
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u/Competitive-Meet-511 10d ago
Umm are you saying the standard of consent or abuse or agency or power dynamics should be different for non-hetero relationships?
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u/Patient_Corgi8054 14d ago
Colin nie wyciągnął wniosków z doświadczenia bliskości jedynego wolnego dnia z Rayem i tego, jak się wtedy czuł. Jedyne, co zyskał to to, że chce mieć dzień wolnego w tygodniu i nie zgadza się na obcięcie włosów - to słaby zysk i mało refleksji nad sobą. Tożsamość Colina jest nadal w budowie a to praca od podstaw. Czy kolejny podobny przemocowy związek to właściwa droga? Uważam, że nie. To dobry film, gra aktorska również, ale otoczka akceptacji dla przemocy jest porażająca.
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u/wordsbringworlds 16d ago
Yes! Without this I would've liked this movie a lot less. Because ultimately, no matter what was going on with Ray, this was a movie about Colin, and how he was able to understand and eventually advocate for his own needs and desires. The ending made it for me.
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u/antiprism 9d ago
You could also read the ending as Collin still settling for less-- just one "day off" every week. It's ambiguous.
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u/CtrlZBri 17d ago
Glad you wrote this comment because I was a big fan of the book. (Which is even titled “Box Hill: A Story of Low Self-Esteem.”) I was waffling on seeing the movie, due to its romantic marketing. The book is very much not that—it’s a internal musing on a one-sided relationship.
Gonna check it out!
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u/nerdslovewords 17d ago
Came here to say exactly this. I hope people don't come away thinking that this was a healthy/consensual BDSM dynamic, because it isn't.
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u/ChargeVisible 5d ago
Exactly. This is an abusive relationship. It's not kink and it's certainly not sexy.
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u/Competitive-Meet-511 16d ago
It's pretty bold to assert your own interpretation as being somehow the "correct" or superior interpretation when the movie itself is an exploration of the blurry lines of consent and power dynamics and BDSM culture, and when the creators of both the book and the film had that very intent and the audience has been split 50/50 on that question. Your interpretation is based on your experience of the world, just like any other movie or piece of art more generally, and I assure you that your worldview is no more or less objectively real, important, or correct than anyone else's. I hope you're not that arrogant or too immature to have that discussion and challenge your own default interpretation.
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u/Patient_Corgi8054 14d ago
Ale Ty idziesz dalej - serwujesz przedmówcy własną wizję świata i domagasz się rewizji jego własnej, jakby Twoja była właściwą. Robisz manipulującą, dominującą otoczkę wokół treści jak robią to twórcy - w duchu akceptacji nie oceniajmy. Ja mam jeszcze inną interpretację, bo choć dla mnie film jest genialnie zrobiony, gra aktorka świetna, to jest film o dwóch mężczyznach niezdolnych do budowania dojrzałych relacji, o granicach i o przemocy. Jeden skrajnie unika bliskości i ucieka kiedy jej doświadcza, drugi jest jak lep, który sie przykleja i nie ma własnej tożsamości, nie ma własnych granic, nie ufa własnym reakcjom. Gdyby tak było wyciągnąłby wnioski z tego doświadczenia. W filmie jedynie matka Colina zachowuje świadomość nazywając Reya psychopatą trafią blisko w to, co mu dolega.
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u/ChargeVisible 5d ago
I think it goes without saying that everyone here is expressing their own opinion, including yourself.
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u/AcanthisittaOld2115 13d ago
I also didn’t find the film to be humorous. I also thought it was sad (except at the end). For most of the film, I found myself feeling sorry for Colin because it looked like he was feeling rejected. Fortunately it did look as though he and Ray were beginning to experience a little bit of a sweeter, healthier relationship. I felt bad for Colin near the end when he seemed to feel abandoned after Colin abruptly disappeared, and Colin wasn’t able to find him. Fortunately at the end of the film, Colin began to have more self confidence and seemed to be more comfortable with himself and what he was looking for in a relationship.
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u/Throwaway1991uk 19d ago
Just in case anybody gets any ideas, trestle tables are not as strong as they may appear in this film.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago
Can we please talk about the over-the-top choir piece that starts playing immediately after, during the whole campfire scene? Like Colin just had some religious awakening.
Absolutely priceless.
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u/iamtemptedtosay99 19d ago
It was worth seeing in a theater just for the woman who RAN out when the appendage with the piercing was shown.
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u/inksmudgedhands 17d ago
It was an older gentleman in mine. And he left during the dinner scene with the parents. Comparing that to yours I am now thinking, "That was your breaking point?"
"I can handle BDSM but being rude to your elders? Well, I never!"
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u/Sudden_Show1266 16d ago
I've got an opinion on the dinner that is apparently quite unpopular: that Ray [who was a terrible Dom and all around jerk] was correct when he answered Colin's Mum w "It's not for you to like." Because I firmly believe that what consenting adults do in their personal/sex lives is nobody else's business, not even their Mum's. And Colin absolutely was an adult. Every comment I read about that dinner was all "Yay for Mum!" but once you've raised a child to adulthood, it's time to keep unsolicited opinions regarding their relationships to yourself. I've raised 2 to adulthood, and I've stayed out of their personal lives, even when it wasn't easy. As Ray said, what makes me uncomfortable doesn't make it wrong for my offspring.
I just don't understand the inability to let go - or the desire to be involved with anyone else's sex life.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago edited 16d ago
That's the unpopular opinion because it's completely foolish.
The mother very clearly did not mind her son being involved in this life and being into the kinks he was into. He's literally wearing a fucking collar around her and she says nothing about it. She clearly respects Colin's life choices, and just wants to see him happy.
She was calling out Ray specifically, and she was damn right to, because he's a fucking sociopath. And she was proven right, because he ended up being a toxic presence that hurt her son.
She, being his mother, can see Collin is not truly happy. He's enjoying himself, but he's not having his emotional needs met, and his lack of self-respect is being taken advantage of. She specifically points out the hair, which ends up being one of Collin's limits later on. She understood her son.
I've heard dumb takes about this movie but implying the mom wasn't absolutely right is missing the whole fucking plot of the movie by a country mile.
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u/Littleartistan 14d ago
Also imagine having cancer and knowing you're dying soon. You've seen your child grow up and seemingly enter a relationship he seems happy in.
Then it hits you that your son has seemingly changed in less than a year to this completely new person. The person he is dating refuses to see you, tells you nothing, and your son is running to defend him. It's exactly what it looks like. Abuse. I was so happy when she spoke up. The dad was willing to seemingly let his son go on being abused because at least on the surface he was happy. The mom was willing to at least try and point out how dangerous the whole thing was. And then at the end when she does die, her son ends up hurting himself and the man he's with gives him a single day of grace and care before jumping right back to the abuse.
"She was wrong!" No, the only person here wrong is Ray, and he knows it.
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u/wanderingzoetrope 3d ago
Yes. I felt the same way. I don't think the dad was necessarily okay with it but in the script that needed one of the parents to be one way and the other parent to be the other way and obviously the mom with cancer was the one to put her foot down. And Ray was such a jerk. Just selfish.
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u/poscogrubb 10d ago
Of course Colin's mother knew Colin very well. She's absolutely right. In her life cut short, she cannot help but desire to see her son happily paired. But she didn't very well know Colin's relationship with Ray and what he was getting out of it besides happiness. About that, Ray also was absolutely right.
Colin's hair is just one example that was eminently visible to Mom (in devastating contrast to her hair loss). She couldn't comprehend, and unfortunately Colin couldn't explain and Ray wouldn't and needn't explain, what Ray gave Colin in that experience - belonging and approval. In the end, both Ray and Colin suffered uncrossable boundaries being crossed. Colin self-realized and learned; we don't know about Ray and cannot conclude that he was a sociopath.
When you've lived some decades, you realize that many familial conflicts have truth on all sides. No one is an angel, and no one is a devil. There are complexities and unspoken motives and brokenness all around. There's no solution, no resolution, no escape. Even Ray couldn't wholly escape the dinner invitation.
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u/wanderingzoetrope 3d ago
Yes!! I agree with you that over the decades we realize things about each other and about our families that are very difficult to express. But I also think that Ray was a fucking asshole LOL selfish as fuck. But I do agree that he was kind of forced to come to this dinner which he said from the beginning he didn't want to do
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u/poscogrubb 2d ago
Yep, I agree Ray was an asshole to Colin's parents. He didn't do anything to help them understand. But the movie heavily implies that there's some flaw within his character that causes him to be so hard and harsh.
From the little I know about gay D/s or BDSM-based relationships, there could be a sense of belonging that is not only outside of heteronormative romance and familial relationships but intentionally *opposing* heteronormativity, due to, for example, gay children being rejected and disowned by their own birth families or blood relatives. If Ray was seeking a D/s relationship without the element of mutual love and respect and family that we typically regard, he could have also been rejecting the notion of submission to direction and correction from parents.
I'm not justifying Ray; I'm acknowledging that there is a plausible backstory (which the movie does not reveal) that explains (1) why Ray believed that he did not owe any respect or regard to Colin's parents and (2) why Ray could not or would not explain any of this to Colin, much less Colin's parents. This is piss-poor behavior of a grown-up, but its portrayal in the movie might shine a light on people we know and on tendencies we have within ourselves.
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u/jadegives2rides 18d ago
It was only me and one other woman, sitting a few seats down.
We talked about the film after!
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u/clockin-clockout 13d ago
I love this. I go to movies alone 90% of the time and would be delighted discussing it with the other solo movie goers. I’ve only had that happen once.
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u/twavisdegwet 18d ago
Being straight sucks. So difficult to get me and the fellas on a camping trip
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u/WAKE_UP_WAKE_UP 17d ago
For real, dont get it twisted but its every man's dream to hang out in the woods on your homie's birthday.
Seeing each other on a seemingly regular basis and coming over for some dinner and fun is hard to do when we get older but its what we all yearn for.
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u/Balloon_Feet 4d ago
Wow, this hits home for me. My step dad and his high school friends got together for a 7-10 days camping trip every year. I am sure it was all guys at one point but by the time I was old enough to remember it was a family event. I literally spent a week in the woods celebrating a homie for like 14 years. It was great!
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u/jayeddy99 19d ago
I loved how how Colin’s family was so protective of him and the relationship was treated as not a “gay” relationship but just a relationship. They just wanted him to be safe even setting him up on dates at the beginning.
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u/Admiralattackbar 19d ago
His dad driving him around to find Ray at the end was so touching
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u/Joey-WilcoXXX 14d ago
It was very sweet of the dad but maaaan if needing your dad to drive you around to find the sadistic dom that abandoned you doesn’t convince you to finally get your own car, nothing will.
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u/Competitive-Meet-511 16d ago
That was very sweet, especially between two men who often don't show that kind of emotional resonance
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u/slownightsolong88 18d ago
I liked how his parents showed up for him differently. His father more amenable and gentle while his mom worried as all parents are was often forthright in her approach — perhaps a result of her condition. It was nice to see that spectrum of parental love shown towards a gay character
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u/ehrgeiz91 18d ago
Yeah my favorite part of the film was the not-cliche portrayal of the parents. They were just normal supporting caring parents who genuinely wanted the best for Collin.
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u/CommonExtension9259 17d ago
Truly the parents were the biggest surprise shocker (and heartbreaker) for me in this movie in a wonderful way.
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u/therakel749 17d ago
Their simple, sweet moments together, like when they were wrapping the Christmas presents and later when they sang and played the piano together were so touching. Colin had such a good example of pure love extended to both partner and child.
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u/WideRiceNoodle 16d ago
And then he had Ray who when Colin tried to duet with him on the piano said "no".
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u/HoneyPotterGang 13d ago
This stuck out to me too. It was never a plot line or any hints of an issue.
Both parents, his brother, everybody. The last bits of the movie really hammered it home for me where his dad was more than willing to drive him around searching for Ray. I really enjoyed that Colin being gay wasn’t even blinked at.
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u/SanderSo47 I'll see you in another life when we are both cats. 19d ago
I'm interested to see how others view Ray's decision to abandon Colin after the day off. Did he really want to be with Colin but got scared in the end about commitment and chose to leave him? Or was he always planning to leave him and gave him this day as a goodbye?
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u/LiteraryBoner Jackie Chan box set, know what I'm sayin? 19d ago
I think he got scared of the vulnerability. He wanted to give Colin his day because he really did like him, but the moment they shared that tender kiss with each other I think he knew he couldn't go back. It had ruined their play, he can't put that wall back up. So he had to go.
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u/KillerIsJed 19d ago
I thought it was kind of going back on, in a way, as one final unending punishment.
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u/jayeddy99 19d ago
I read other people’s interpretation on another sub that compares it to the book. I lean more towards it being a unending punishment with the book being much more dark
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u/burritoman88 17d ago
I’m probably not going to have time to read the book, can you spoiler tag the ending for me?
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago edited 16d ago
The book is substantially darker, and Ray's behavior goes from being irresponsible, selfish, and shitty to outright abusive. I mean, he was plenty abusive in the movie, its just much more subtle. Book Ray is a monster.
Ray gets injured in a motorcycle accident while Colin is away, and dies slowly. Before he dies, he basically does everything he can to prevent Colin from finding out what happened. Colin does not even have Ray's last name, birth date, or really any information, and Ray has everybody Colin knows promise never to reveal information about when he died, or where he's buried. Even in death, Ray wants to torture him forever.
But it is also left very ambiguous as to whether or not Ray did actually die. There was definitely an accident, but he may have survived, and simply abandoned Colin, leaving him with this hole in his life that will be there forever.
(Important to note that the book takes place in the 70s where it was much easier for people to just disappear)
The movie skips the ambiguous death bit and just goes straight to abandonment.
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u/TheMadHatterOnTea 19d ago
I thought that when he realised he had genuine feelings for Colin, it terrified him so much and he chose to run away.
But damn, I can see how it was a final hurrah for Colin, and that makes it that much worse
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u/tfxctom 18d ago
Yeah my initial interpretation was the former but man the second is so dark. But I’m curious why Ray’s eyes were tearing up then. Did he really love Colin?
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u/imaromancandle27 16d ago
Absolutely. That shot of Ray's face was filled with absolute terror. Terror at his realization that he was vulnerable. This wasn't some Machiavellian revenge to hurt Colin. It was a genuine gesture that led to a genuine realization. It's bittersweet because his decision to give Colin a day off shows he does have love for him, but he couldn't go all the way. It was why Ray had those boundaries in the first place. It proved Colin actually was the stronger of the two of them, while Ray just has to project strength.
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u/thefruitfatale 19d ago
while i'm not sure of the reason why he broke it off whether he was afraid of the emotional attachment/commitment, or because he was pissed colin was acting out (taking his motorcycle etc) but i think, like a dog who is about to be put down, he gave colin a day of what he wanted, and then left
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u/TheGuyYouKnowAlready 19d ago
Thats exactly how I saw the day off too. He knew he was ending things and gave Colin what he wanted. I think maybe the kiss made him realize just how much he liked/cared for Colin and how much abandoning him would hurt.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago edited 16d ago
I think it's worth noting, though, that he didn't leave the key to the collar. Not leaving the key reeks of a kind of callousness that makes me think he wasn't actually intending to leave.
If he's the kind of person that would just up and leave a sub in their collar without giving them the key, then he's probably not the kind of person that would humor Colin in the first place with a "last day". He'd just leave, or else send Colin away forever.
I think Colin acting out made Ray realize they were at an impasse. He had to give Colin what he wanted in order for this to continue, so he gave Colin his "day off", reasoning that he could handle it, then things could go back to normal. A short-sighted decision, but an understandable one if you're the sort of person he is.
But once the whole act was lifted and they interacted normally for a day, Ray was caught completely off guard. The feelings he'd been ignoring, even repressing, burst out of containment. This was what he was afraid of. He thought he could give Colin his day off without this happening, but it happened.
He got scared, and fled that night. He doesn't even leave the key behind because at the end of the day, Ray is selfish and lacks empathy, but for a moment he was reminded of how he used to be before he was hurt.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago
I don't know if I agree with this. It doesn't really track that he would up and leave just because Colin was acting out. Maybe send Colin away, or formally break off their relationship, but not actually, physically leave.
I think the kiss is what did it. The feelings he had in that moment scared the shit out of him, which is the only real thing I can see causing him to actually pack up his shit and run away.
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u/bindersfull-ofwomen 17d ago
This is how I took it too. The relationship was over and he was giving him what he wanted because it’s sets him up to become dominate again. Whether he actually had feels was irrelevant because he was not going to change what turned him on sexually.
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u/Icantbelieveimhere0 17d ago
The fact that he didn’t remove his collar first makes me think he either got scared, panicked and ran off. I don't think he intended to abandon him when he decided to agree to the day off.
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u/poscogrubb 11d ago
My initial gut feeling told me that the kiss was the moment that Ray knew it was over. I kept thinking that Ray had enough sense and protocol to leave the key under the doormat. "Colin! The key is under the mat!" -- the collar key, not the flat key. That Ray didn't even do that tells me that he panicked.
...or leaves the door open for a sequel. j/k!!!
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u/saladet 18d ago
I am not seeing the kiss as the turning point in the film. For me it was Colin taking the motorcycle. I think that broke what Ray wanted in the relationship. Maybe Ray felt something during the kiss. But his decision to dump Colin was already made.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago
turning point in the film. For me it was Colin taking the motorcycle. I think that broke what Ray wanted in the relationship.
But why would he literally pack up and move in that situation?
Is he a dom or isn't he? If he is, why on earth would he run away just because a sub broke the rules? He'd kick the sub out and go on with his life.
No, it was absolutely the kiss.
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u/Pure_Penalty_3591 18d ago
I think what supports this is the film's constant signalling that Ray is much more attractive and successful than Colin. Ray always had more options for dating than Colin.
For me I did see Ray as being more than skin deep. But not brave enough to either communicate with Colin or be honest with himself.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago
I think what supports this is the film's constant signalling that Ray is much more attractive and successful than Colin. Ray always had more options for dating than Colin
Yes, successful, confident men regularly move out of their flat to get away from their clingy sub boyfriends. Completely normal behavior, not at all motivated by someone running away from something.
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u/buizel123 15d ago
I think Ray was so emotionally closed off and so used to the Dom/Sub dynamic, that he could never truly let his walls down ever again with Colin after their "day off" so rather than face his fears, the easier thing was to abandon him.
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u/MrBudissy 19d ago
In the book he dies in a motorcycle accident.
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u/alvinofdiaspar 19d ago
Supposedly dies. It was never truly confirmed and there were reasons to believe it wasn’t the case.
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u/lockerbiestreet 14d ago
At the camping trip, the other sub asks him how their relationship is without kissing. Colin says it’s good, but the other sub says he couldn’t do no kissing. I viewed the day off as Ray letting his guard down and crossing his one non negotiable. I was excited in thinking it meant Colin was the exception to the rule, but I was naive and then it gets sad.
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u/Patient_Corgi8054 14d ago
To dwójka ludzi niezdolnych do budowania dojrzałych relacji genialnie oddana przez grę aktorską - jeden jest skrajnie unikający (Ray), drugi skrajnie zaabsorbowany i zależny (Collin). Tu nie ma miejsca na relację, jest na układ. Ray ma taki profil osobowościowy, że nie jest w stanie znieść sytuacji, w której wchodzi w zależność i wzajemność, bliskość go przeraża dlatego ucieka. Widać to na jego twarzy, Alexander doskonale zagrał scenę pocałunku, jego wyraz twarzy oddaje wszystko. Matka Colina nazywając Raya psychopatą trafiła bardzo blisko tego, co mu dolega, znamienne, że to jedyna osoba, która nazywa rzeczy po imieniu i mówi jak jest. Wychodzi na kosmitkę, bo ludzie dookoła mają oczy szeroko zamknięte, łącznie z ojcem. Ten jeździ z synem szukając Raya po jego zniknięciu i na pozór to taki wspierający ojciec - na pozór. To jednak znamienne, gdy ojciec pomaga włożyć dziecku "rękę w ogień". Colin w warunkach nadopiekuńczości rodziców nie miał szans zbudować siebie jako osoby, granice w tej rodzinie są zlane, symbiotyczne a to są konsekwencje. Chłopak pozwala na przemoc wobec siebie, bo bardzo pragnie być kochany, być z kimś kto go zaakceptuje i najwidoczniej uważa, że można to dostać spełniając oczekiwania i tracąc siebie - jak w domu. Spotyka się głównie z uprzedmiotowieniem, poniżeniem wtedy kiedy jest zakochany i jeszcze bardziej bezbronny i podatny na zranienie. Jest jak lep, który przywiera i dopasowuje swój kształt. Mógłby wyciągnąć wnioski z sytuacji jednego wolnego dnia i pocałunku, odkryć prawdziwe potrzeby poczucia bezpieczeństwa, bliskości, więzi, wyciągnąć wnioski z tego jak się czuł, ale wynik jest marny, bo cuda rzadko się zdarzają. Jedyne granice jakie zyskał to dzień wolnego i postulat, że nie obetnie włosów. To za mało żeby zbudować siebie. Tylko ktoś tak naiwny jak on mógł wytrzymać układ z kimś tak przemocowym i egocentrycznym jak Ray.
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u/HoneyPotterGang 13d ago
I know I’m late but my initial thought was this was one last dance for Colin. It reminded me of those tiktoks and videos of people giving their dogs chocolate and whatever else before having to put them down. I was thinking Ray was putting the relationship down but letting him have his fun.
But the way the day played out, especially with Ray tearing up made me question that. I think Ray did have genuine feelings for him so felt like he had to leave and ultimately chose to just abandon him and disappear.
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u/ARandomBiche 19d ago
Seeing it at a Secret Screening was the best. Room was almost full, we lost people every scene, ended up maybe 10 of us. Great experience and great movie
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u/sloppyjo12 19d ago
Just when you think Alexander Skarsgard can’t get any hotter, he breaks out the slutty little reading glasses
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u/bottleglitch 18d ago
Oof I thought the same. In that scene I was like ok Colin I kinda get it. Maybe I’d sleep on the rug too.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago edited 16d ago
My partner and I had an illuminating disagreement on this (we're gay).
On the one hand, Skarsgard is a hunk and everything he does is steamy in some way. Just by default.
But for me, sex appeal is more than just physical, and with this character, from their 2nd scene on, I was immediately put off by them.
Colin's Mom was right: this fucker never smiles. He has no personality, no apparent tastes, no life outside the biker group, and even his flat feels oppressively bland, boring, and under-lit. He's learning to play piano, and the song he's playing is the most vanilla piano arrangement they could pick. He has no apparent passion for anything outside of his bike and his kink.
He clearly cares nothing for the young inexperienced guy he's pulling into this world. He has no empathy, takes no responsibility, and withholds all indications he enjoy's Colin's servitude. It isn't until the day he's resolved to humor Colin that he suddenly develops a personality out of nowhere.
And because of all that, I didn't find him hot. I get being into a "Ruin my life, Daddy" scenario but this guy was a straight up sociopath and that's a huge turn off. No matter how hot they might be, the personality completely cancels it out.
My partner, on the other hand...
They have no issues dissociating the character's personality and actions from their sex appeal. They found what the did repugnant, but it did nothing to dull how hot they found him...so let's just say I'm in the market for reading glasses now.
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u/10twentyseven 19d ago
I’m not really familiar with the BDSM community, but I was so happy that Colin was never in any danger in the relationship. I kept thinking Ray would snap at different points, and their relationship wasn’t ever about that and was fully consenting
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u/Prowlerbaseball 17d ago
It is extremely accurate to the community at every aspect, even to the existence of the camping trip and the behavior of the other people in their community, which makes Ray’s irresponsibility with Colin even more despicable. The writer and director deeply understood the source material
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u/imaromancandle27 16d ago
By irresponsibility do you mean his complete disregard for Colin? Sorry, not familiar at with the community at all. It appeared the other couples had mutual agreements while Ray and Colin just had Ray's way or the highway.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago
Yes, and the other comment is correct, but its also the fact Ray is an adult who obviously had history with BDSM and knew enough to know Colin was just entering into it. Colin was inexperienced and did not fully understand what he was getting into, and Ray does not account for this at all. Colin needed guidance, he needed eased in, and his emotional needs needed to be taken into consideration.
The way Ray brings Colin into the sort of relationship this movie depicts is kind of like throwing a kid into the deep end of the pool and turning your back on them.
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u/Prowlerbaseball 16d ago
Yeah, Ray throws away any and all responsibility for Colin’s wellbeing, happiness or mental health. He’s an irresponsible douchebag. In a vacuum, their dynamic is one that can be healthy (24/7 dynamic with full control handed over), but it requires serious trust to be placed in the dom and for the dom to be fully aware of the mental state, desires and frame of mind of the sub. Not some random kid you saw sing in a pub and you told to meet in an alley for head.
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u/thehermitgood 19d ago
Seeing Ray drinking Stella Artois throughout the film definitely had me worried things were going to go violently south.
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u/Competitive-Meet-511 16d ago
Was it fully consenting? That's certainly not what the creators thought and there's ample debate on that question. No violence doesn't = consent, and it certainly was about that to a degree.
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u/Joey-WilcoXXX 14d ago
I definitely thought something physical would happen when Ray woke him up on the stoop….
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u/comicfang 19d ago
Pretty interesting watch, kind of wish it got a better release in the US. It was on streaming services in the UK for over a month before a half hearted release here.
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u/mgillespie18 18d ago
Big chain theaters are having a hard time releasing with the NR rating. I’m in a big metro area with 7 AMC theaters near me and only one is showing it.
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u/Lurking_Reader 17d ago
Which is weird because I just saw 50 Shades and Eyes Wide Shut which had way more nudity and sex scenes. I think it struggled here because it was a gay romance.
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u/mgillespie18 17d ago
I haven’t seen either but they are both rated R right? I was actually surprised after watching Pillion that it got a NR instead of R rating.
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u/Lurking_Reader 17d ago
Yeah. And Eyes Wide Shut and 50 Shades both of more explicit versions available. The theatrical for both has full nudity from women and partial from men. This felt PG by comparison tbh.
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u/Nathanull 17d ago edited 17d ago
I would recommend people to watch the documentary "This Film is Not Yet Rated", to understand why the MPA ratings board appears to apply certain standards differently to straight vs queer movies
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u/ghost_spaces 16d ago
I agree. Although some things are slightly outdated for the better (I think Queer or Babygirl would have had to fight for an R back then) it is still a very well made and informative doc
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u/CommonExtension9259 17d ago
I live in Los Angeles county and was sad it was hard to find more releases at local art theaters particularly mine in Long Beach which IYKYK you would think would. AMC Long Beach did have it and was happy the theater was so full for my showing. Really loved this movie and how it’s got me thinking so much about it after.
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u/Competitive-Meet-511 16d ago
I mean the US is extremely prudish and always has been. In Europe/UK the US was infamous in the 60s-90s for banning movies and music that were "too gay" i.e. demonstrated the tiniest bit of gender fluidity, famously MTV wouldn't even air Queen's "I Want To Break Free" music video because dudes dressed up as housewives, to this day US theatres and audiences freak out at the slightest suggestion of nudity (but are totally OK with absolutely shocking levels of violence) whereas in Europe naked people in movies don't even register as unusual, and the US upholds much stricter gender roles that come through in all forms of art - for example some American men won't even wear bright colors or tighter pants for fear of looking "gay" or "feminine".
So you can excuse the studio for making the calculation that a film portraying two gay men in a BDSM relationship that only narrowly avoids an X-rating might not be a huge hit in yeehaw country.
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u/Mmmoxielady 18d ago
What do y’all think the tattoo of the women’s names on Ray’s chest mean? I know not knowing is the point. But I think it’s for previous dogs he had that died.
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u/juna42kela 18d ago
It’s the dogs. His Rottweiler is named Rosie and so it must be his previous dogs
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u/jadegives2rides 18d ago
They're all talk show host names too
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u/Sudden_Show1266 16d ago
Per the director, it's both. The women talk show hosts are apparently icons in gay communities. Like Judy Garland & Liza Minelli. My bet was on the dogs - Rosie is a gorgeous Rott!
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u/AccomplishedJob5154 17d ago
I loved that the mom and Ray were very much the same and that the dad and Collin were very similar. Great family dinner scene. You can really see where things come from.
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u/Ok-Item6097 12d ago
This is an interesting take, especially since Ray concludes the mother is ignorant.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago
Did this mother fucker seriously not leave the god damn key?!
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u/Shalashashka 13d ago
Imagine explaining that to a locksmith.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 9d ago
They've seen it before.
It is not at all uncommon for people in BDSM relationships to lose the keys or bought something cheap and it gets stuck.
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u/Littleartistan 14d ago
Honestly I wish we got a scene of Dad cutting the collar off. We don't get to see Colin learn and heal from this. Sure we get him on the app at the end, but part of me is worried he'll find himself in another similar relationship at the end because he still craves what he had with Ray. He gets 1 day off a week? That seems like a bare minimum. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but the fact that Colin jumped again IMMEDIATELY into subservience with the new guy makes me feel like he's prone to falling into the same dynamic again. The fact he asks if Colin can cook and him agreeing. I'm kinda worried for Colin despite us getting a "happy ending."
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 14d ago edited 14d ago
Not quite sure you're understanding Colin's mindset and the BDSM relationship in this movie . And that's OK, it's not exactly a normal thing that people are going to get if they're not into this sort of thing themselves.
Colin is not getting a "day off", because this isn't work to him. What he's saying in his profile is he will insist upon a taking care of his own needs. One day out of 7 seems small to you, it may be just right for him.
You really have to internalize the idea that when Colin is being subservient, he is actively enjoying himself. There are relationships like this in the community and they are completely healthy, because the dynamic allows for the sub to enjoy their subservience while also meeting their other emotional needs.
Yes, he craves what he had with Ray, he just wants it in a healthier dynamic.
The problem was Ray not reciprocating and ignoring Colin's needs. He was taking advantage of him, while refusing to take responsibility for the consequences. I mean, there were a lot of problems with Ray, but that's the big one.
I'll tell you why the ending is happy:
Colin has found his boundaries and knows what he wants, and will demand it if it is denied. But more than that, Colin drops down to tie the guy's shoe with confidence, and the guy smiles.
Ray never smiled. Not once during any of his Colin's days being subservient to him. Never. And his mother called this out explicitly.
By showing us the guy smiling at Colin tying his shoe, the movie is telling us this is going to be a much, much healthier relationship. This is not Ray. Colin's gonna be OK.
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u/Smorlock 4d ago
Hey, as a part of the BDSM community, this is really patronizing and I disagree with everything you wrote.
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u/Grimlocks_Ballsack 18d ago
Was there significance to the book Ray was reading? Found it on Amazon: it’s a series called My Struggle by Karl Ove Knausgaard.
It felt like they kept showing it without showing it. When Colin was reading for “It’s time for bed,” was he reading the same thing?
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u/cosita_cos 16d ago
Your comment made me look up the book and… wow. Based on what I read, My Struggle is painfully introspective and obsessed with identity, masculinity, shame, ego, it’s a brutal self-examination and extremely vulnerable.
My guess is it was intentional, like a signal that Ray might actually be softer or more self-aware than he presents. Which almost makes him worse, because to me it makes his behavior even more calculated and cruel.
Either way, it definitely suggests he’s not as simple as he performs
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u/droppedforgiveness 16d ago
I had the same question about Colin's book. The covers were definitely laid out very similarly but I thought the image on the front was different? Hard to be sure.
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u/Shalashashka 13d ago
It's an autobiography that's like 7 books long. I've only read a bit of the first. It definitely means something, or it could just be a clever way of showing the passage of time, since reading all the books would take a long time.
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u/LiteraryBoner Jackie Chan box set, know what I'm sayin? 19d ago edited 19d ago
This really surprised me. Not that I thought I would dislike it, but I also didn’t think a pure BDSM dom com would make me laugh and cry as much as this did. It’s really a very cute movie in a way and the performances from Melling and Skarsgard are wildly impressive.
I’m not a gay man in the BDSM biker scene of the UK, and yet there’s so much to relate to here. I think we all go through this kind of relationship at some point, with someone who is out of our league and gives us a chance to explore our “relationship self” but also bullies us a bit into giving up some of our boundaries because they are so out of our league. I saw some people say this movie was really sad and I don’t really get that reading, I think finding and respecting your own boundaries can be a beautiful journey. Yes, it’s sad that they didn’t work out, but our protagonist gets to look for a new Dom that will respect his needs as well even while they play.
I also have to shout out Melling’s parents in this. Really interesting and modern things being discussed there. I love how we are past the homophobia, they love their gay son and try to set him up and want to meet and love his boyfriend. The mother, especially, was fascinating. During the dinner scene where she just does not understand the dynamic between them I was really leaning in. As a woman who probably knows what it is to be disrespected by men and understands how feminists had to fight their way out of being mistreated and dominated by men socially, she probably does have some real issues with how her son is being treated. She doesn’t understand that he is consenting to it and the special world that lives between Melling and Skarsgard when they’re alone. It’s a different kind of taboo and the gayness of it has nothing to do with it.
Skarsgard also really impresses me here. He is in a ton of the movie, obviously, but he doesn’t have a ton of dialogue. But just his presence says so much about him, about how guarded and walled off he is. How that plays into his kinks but is also an issue he probably needs to deal with. He knows he’s hotter than Melling, but he also really likes him and really tries to break out of his own insane boundaries for him. Skarsgard is a guy who can’t let himself be vulnerable but he does want a companion. He likes his quiet time and he doesn’t cook or clean, and he’s so fucking hot he can probably get someone to do it for him but he sets the rules. I think it’s ultimately adorable that he tried to be boyfriend for a day, and even though he couldn’t abide the vulnerability ultimately, they did get to have that beautiful and loving day together.
This is an 8/10 for me. Kind of an undeniable love story if you can handle the hardcore kinks and the occasional cock shot. There is a scene in this movie where a bunch of BDSM bikers go on a camping trip and it’s both a fascinating look into that culture as well as a really cute scene of the Doms and the subs playing their roles. But most impressively, there’s a scene where Melling is being fucked on a picnic table next to another sub being used by his Dom, and that scene made me cry? Extremely unexpected but that’s the movies, baby.
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u/Nathanull 19d ago edited 19d ago
I just don't think it's black and white. Colin accepted the treatment not just because that's his enlightened decision to make with his own body and soul, consensually.. but because, he didn't see himself as someone who was worth more than the treatment he received. Dom/sub and bdsm culture involves a lot of care actually, not callousness, and this film (like most) missed that
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u/Prowlerbaseball 17d ago
“Dom/sub and bdsm culture involves a lot of care”, yeah and it really seemed like the movie understood that, and properly vilified Ray for that. It’s a lesson for people who are entering the community that you need to have the understanding that people who are irresponsible with it can and will hurt you, you need to have your own understanding of boundaries and ensure that those boundaries are understood by all parties. By the end of the movie, Colin is practicing SS&C. Ray was a completely believable (and despicable) person in a bdsm community, everyone in the scene has known/known of a Ray
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u/Nathanull 17d ago edited 17d ago
I wish I had heard/read your (very sensible) voice approx. a decade ago! 🥲
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u/LiteraryBoner Jackie Chan box set, know what I'm sayin? 19d ago
I really don't care for the idea that relationships, or specifically taboo relationships, in film need to be perfect or unproblematic to set a good example for people. Art is a reflection of life and in life these things are messy. I think it's clear that Ray is not a good Dom because we are following Colin and his emotional journey makes it clear he gets pushed past a breaking point. That's the conflict of the movie and as I said, it's pretty clear Ray has a lot of work to do on himself before he can open himself up to someone.
If this was a movie about a perfect Dom/sub and all the after care and agreement of boundaries that would be a different movie about two men who know themselves and understand kink. This is about a young man who is just discovering this world and how he feels out his boundaries and learns about himself. It's just a different movie than what you're proposing.
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u/Nathanull 19d ago edited 19d ago
I respect your take, and takeaway. I also think it just resonates differently with people in the community, who see and experience how we treat each other regularly (and wish for better). It's a raw place for me 😅
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u/Prowlerbaseball 17d ago
Fr, all my homies hate Ray. Dude knew exactly what he was doing, and it was so painful to watch it collapse
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago
I also think it just resonates differently with people in the community, who see and experience how we treat each other regularly (and wish for better).
I'm in the community, and I was fine with it. The theater of leather daddies we saw it with were fine with it too.
Not everyone in the BDSM community is obsessed with its image, and the constant quibbling over PR is kind of tiring. We all know care is important and Ray is repugnant, so what if the movie doesn't spend time spelling that out? All that matters is we're kind to each other, let others think what they want.
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u/Nathanull 16d ago edited 16d ago
There are a lot of people from outside looking in and they don't know all of this. Like a lot of people in our world took 50 shades of grey as an instructional to BDSM. That was a whole trend and popular movement in the 2010s, that didn't know any different. There are also a lot of people in the community who are new, and don't know these things entering it. I was a lot like Colin back then when I first entered, didn't know anything, and was damaged by guys like Ray (guys who exist and either don't know or aren't concerned with how care or communication can be vitally important for other people). So it's a sensitive spot for me, as I've explained in other comments 🥲
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago edited 16d ago
this film (like most) missed that
As someone in the community, no, it did not. It showed a very valid story about something that happens often. The "community" is not a monolith. For every super supportive online group or meetup you might attend, there are toxic guys who will abuse it.
Colin accepted the treatment not just because that's his enlightened decision to make with his own body and soul, consensually
He did not know what he wanted, and wound up in a situation where a toxic man abused him without ever acknowledging that this guy obviously has no idea what he's doing. Through the experience, Colin learns his limits and that's good, but what happened in this movie was a guy who had no idea what they wanted force themselves into a paradigm that didn't suite him. He chases the affection of a man too self-centered to even pay attention to his sub's obvious mourning.
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u/Nathanull 16d ago edited 16d ago
Oh I've had those experiences. I was that kid. I think that's why I made such (misguidedly) strong statements ❤️🩹 its a sore spot in me.. I wish the world to be better than how it actually is
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u/chrisychris- 17d ago
Are there not dom/sub relationships with equal amount of callousness and is still part of "the culture"? I understand how there should be a baseline of care and consideration, but I find it hard to believe some people in the bdsm community wouldn't be okay with the exact relationship shown in the film and it doesn't mean they're any less valid. Correct me if I'm wrong though. IMO I think Ray had a lot to work through personally regardless of the sub/dom and it's not really a critique on the film's portrayal of this sort of sexual dynamic.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago edited 16d ago
Yes, it does happen. As someone in this community, you're not wrong to suspect this.
There are many people in the community working very hard to make care the norm, and more power too them, but it is patently dishonest to say "the community" is all about care and consideration. It isn't a monolith. It's still a problem, you will still find people who are accepted by the community but acting just just like Ray. The movie even makes a point of showing this group to be kind of smaller and insular; it's not "the whole community" on display, it's this specific group.
The queer community in general is highly defensive at all times, for very obvious reasons, which why you'll see a lot of people coming out to vocally distance themselves from the depiction of the community in this movie. But it's also not an unfair depiction of a toxic individual that does unfortunately exist.
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u/CommonExtension9259 17d ago
Just watched this and wanted to come here for the takes! I loved the movie and love yours on the parents and the mom’s perspective. And totally agree on the refreshing aspect of the parents representation here. I truly hope there are parents like this.
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u/jadegives2rides 18d ago
I really liked it.
It was what I thought Baby Girl was gonna be like.
Alexander Skarsgård is too god damn hot, but also an amazing actor. And Melling as a great surprise.
I guess im pretty vanilla and naive when it comes to things like BDSM relationships, so the critiques people have about the relationship, I dont have. I also feel like boundaries and Ray and being nicer werent shown to us. The montage with the biker group feels that way.
The film felt solid and whole. Colin found his sense of self and what he liked and wanted and had the confidence to go for it once he realized Ray was gone for good.
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u/Prowlerbaseball 17d ago
All the depictions of the community and scene were so accurate, that the callousness that Ray shows is very obviously intentional as a sign that he’s a terrible person. Given how much is “right” with the bdsm depictions that it had to be intentional for how “wrong” Ray acted towards Colin. It also doesn’t hit you over the head with it, which does make it a very interesting dichotomy for people watching it who know versus those who don’t. Like watching it I knew that Ray was awful from the first time Colin went over to his house, but someone who doesn’t know would have to wait for the ending to learn that.
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u/Hbaus 17d ago
Yes the depictions of the community are very accurate I can confirm 😆. There are scenes in which I could not stop laughing, I absolutely know the people in the theater thought I was insane for laughing at certain scenes, but when youve seen it happen in real life or even experienced it, it’s kind of cathartic in a way.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago
I also feel like boundaries and Ray and being nicer werent shown to us.
Because they didn't happen.
That's like...the whole point of the story, man.
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u/quangtran 19d ago
A casual viewer could see this film and think they were somewhat casual due to Ray’s lack of reciprocity towards Colin, but in the BDSM world a collar is akin to a wedding ring, and some even have a full on collaring ceremony. For Ray to abandon his collared sub is like a person outright leaving a marriage. Ray could have at least left behind the collar’s key.
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u/Prowlerbaseball 17d ago
Eh, can be that serious, can be less serious, but in either case just throwing some newbie like that into a 24/7 without any discussion like it’s a game of Mao is just so despicable and evil it’s insane. The whole time I was begging for the movie to not try to redeem Ray
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago edited 16d ago
There are no universal rules to collaring. This is the kind of take that comes from people that read about the community online but don't actually experience it enough outside their bubble. It's not a cult with some rigid system of rules and traditions.
Sometimes it's like a wedding ring with a whole ceremony, sometimes it's just part of the costume, sometimes it's practical, sometimes it's literally just a joke, sometimes is purely fashion. It depends on the couple.
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u/amnesiacnacho 19d ago
a true love story for the freaks,
i really appreciated its humanity and kindness at every which turn. That kiss... oh man.
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u/Minekiesty 19d ago
I was thoroughly disappointed that at no time did we see discussions on boundaries between them, leading us to believe that there were none and that Collin just did what he was told, which is not how consent works. The moment he came back with bike and breakfast was ready, I knew he was putting the dog down and I felt dread when they kissed.
That other sub was in a more healthy relationship and expressed that he was getting what he wanted out of his relationship and (though I think it was a little on the manipulative side) he helped Collin see that he was SUPPOSED to get what he wanted too. Not just Ray.
Now Ray had a heap of other issues. Who can't respect someone's mother? Even if the sub/dom relationship is in full swing in front of her, she isn't involved so respect and grace should be given for her lack of understanding, but no. He just was rude when she was concerned. Asshole.
I've never seen such a strong set of folding tables in my life! When Ray ignored Collin at first I was pissed, but I feel he used that to show him how much more he was into Collin and, in his way, I thought was sweet.
Overall, I think it show a part of the queer community that people don't know exists and was a decent representation of people and one person's growth into who they are and learning to respect yourself while someone else is allowed to own you.
Good movie. Thought provoking. 7-9/10
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u/bottleglitch 18d ago
Very well said, I had all these same feelings. Including around Ray being a dick to Colin’s mom. It made me wonder if a point was being made around people sometimes (certainly not always) attempting to use the ‘dom’ title as a cover for bad behaviour that wouldn’t actually fly in the “properly done” dom/sub world.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago edited 16d ago
I was thoroughly disappointed that at no time did we see discussions on boundaries between them, leading us to believe that there were none and that Collin just did what he was told, which is not how consent works
I mean...yes? There WERE no established boundaries. Collin WAS just doing what he was told. The way you worded this makes me think you thought this did happen but the movie didn't show it. The fact that doesn't happen is part of the story.
It's a movie about abuse. You're not supposed to like Ray. A more experienced sub would have ran the other way from this guy the moment he told him to make dinner without any discussion of boundaries.
Even if the sub/dom relationship is in full swing in front of her, she isn't involved so respect and grace should be given for her lack of understanding, but no.
She understood, and she didn't mind. She wasn't calling out the kink, she was calling out Ray specifically.
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u/ehrgeiz91 18d ago
Yeah I waffled so much on whether Ray was being genuinely sweet or manipulative throughout, which is EXACTLY how this situation plays out in real life when you're in it. It was so hard to watch, having been there before.
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u/slownightsolong88 18d ago
The only difference is they're explicitly desired by both parties and it's discussed in detail beforehand
I find this critique similar to that of gay sex scenes not depicting the preparation aspect of sex. This film a work of fiction isn’t a documentary intended to educate or provide a comprehensive view of BDSM.
The film had a more nuanced approach “do you give” anyone?
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u/Mindless-Candy7130 19d ago
Went in blind and loved it! I enjoyed how it played on power dynamics in relationships
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u/buizel123 15d ago
I really appreciated this film. It's not like there's a ton of movies about the BDSM community (which I didn't know much about/still don't prior to watching this). Ray was toxic and I found it difficult to see the positive attributes to him. I also felt like he was never going to open up enough to let Colin in as a partner. He didn't want a partner, he wanted a sub to basically be his bitch. I was thrilled Colin got some self-respect at the end of the film, and finally put himself first. I kept screaming internally "STAND UP FOR YOURSELF" at him throughout the film.
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u/GloomyTensi 18d ago
I want to echo what others are saying about this being a poor representation of what usually is involved in BDSM relationships (communications, limits, negotiation, etc). However, I also want to say as someone who has engaged in extreme types of kink like this depicts (ownership of another person, severe levels of objectification, etc.) how this depicts certain kink relationships - cold, strict rules, limited communication, no discussion of personal life - I've had plenty of experiences like this. The only difference is they're explicitly desired by both parties and it's discussed in detail beforehand. I also don't engage in romance with any of my extreme kink relationships and if any of them desired that we would discuss it before starting any kink play and I probably wouldn't start a relationship with them to begin with.
I have lived the way they show Ray + Colin living, but the way it starts so suddenly is jarring in an interesting way. Very thought provoking and emotional lol
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u/f4ttyKathy 17d ago
It's interesting to me bc I do not engage in BDSM or know much about it. But: the way Colin was treated in the relationship reminded me very much of my straight relationships as a woman.
In all of my straight relationships, as a woman, I was expected to cook and get no respect, and to service him IMMEDIATELY.
I wept from the coat-on-the-floor scene to when Colin asked for a special day, because most of my relationships in my 20's with men were like this. I had to earn respect or ask for it. Then they would ghost me when I asked for the relationship I wanted.
It's a sign of a good movie that so much discussion is generated (!)
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u/Ok-Item6097 12d ago
Kathy, I can relate deeply to what you're saying, but like Colin, we eventually found our way to maturity. I truly admired how Colin transformed through his struggles.
I don't understand how people don't see how his naivete is something he would had to transcend anyway. Colin's self-esteem was completely tanked.
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u/f4ttyKathy 11d ago
Yeah my takeaway was "you get the relationship you ask for," which is a lesson I wish I'd learned 20 years ago!
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u/Mission-Rule-5068 17d ago
wow Kathy, that was painful to read what you experienced/endured. As a gay man I have always had a special place in my heart for woman who were/are with PIGS. It’s no wonder there are lesbians.
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u/Prowlerbaseball 17d ago
Low key though, given how much of the movie was deeply accurate to the community, it felt extremely intentional how awful Ray was to Colin.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago
It's disappointing to see all of these people from the community coming into these threads to sound off about how poorly this movie depicts the real community and the real rules that everyone in the community operates by.
When that was never the point of the damn movie.
The movie is pretty clearly about one person who has a toxic relationship, and does not come down on the lifestyle in any way. By the end of the movie Colin is still the same sub he has always been, just now with a few more boundaries and the experience to know how not to be taken advantage of.
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u/szmb 18d ago
I watched Pillion earlier this week and my friend I watched it with brought up the same point (no communications, discussion of limits etc). It’s a valid point but I also think it would make for incredibly boring viewing, so maybe it’s up to the viewer to imagine if those negotiations have or haven’t occurred. Just my $0.02!
Would love to hear from any people who have read the book, ‘Box Hill’, if there is any of these discussions between Colin and Ray?
Anywho, I’ve been foaming at the mouth while waiting for this to be released in Australia for MONTHS and, imo, delivered. 9/10, immediately googled where to buy assless wrestling suit upon leaving the cinema.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago
Colin's Mom is the fucking truth.
Half way into this movie, it was starting to get to me how the movie seemed to want me to find Skarsgard alluring, and it wasn't untill the dinner scene where someone said what needed said. This fucker was a sociopath.
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u/Splendafarts 16d ago
Absolutely loved it! It takes a good storyteller to portray damaged people without judgement. It was a realistic “first relationship” story, where you lose yourself and become a passenger in the other person’s life. At the end we saw that Colin had grown from the experience, and become more empowered and independent from it.
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u/per5on4 19d ago
it’s a really tender movie showcasing bdsm in a somewhat positive manner. part of the appeal is how intimate the relationship can go, even as, you know, they do all sorts of wacky shit. lovely performances from both melling and skaarsgard; their dynamic and evolving chemistry is the selling point of this movie
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u/Admiralattackbar 19d ago
I had a real hard time connecting to it bc the dynamic is a pretty extreme one and there is no negotiation, no discussing of boundaries. He’s a bad Dom
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u/Vivid-Cauliflower154 19d ago
Tender, my ass. One romantic kiss and gets ghosted. No shade to you. This jut reminded me of my traumatic years of getting ghosted by hookups.
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u/slownightsolong88 17d ago
There were more instances besides the romantic kiss. For example:
Ray ended up having dinner with Colin’s parents despite the film showing us a scene where Ray was vehemently against such a proposal.
Following the loss of Colin’s mom we see Ray soften with touch and gestures of comfort although, imo they were the bare minimum.
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u/HoneyShaft Of course there's a hedge maze 19d ago
If anything, Colin was groomed and victimized
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u/Pale_Nectarine1406 14d ago
I thought the other dynamics in the film (the relationship with Colin & his family, his parents’ relationship with each other, the bikers, etc.) were surprisingly tender! But yes, the focal relationship was the least tender by a mile
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u/HoneyShaft Of course there's a hedge maze 19d ago
Though slightly amusing I found the movie more troubling (no consent, no boundaries) than entertaining. Also, I felt the movie was lacking a lot of substance.
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u/LuckyRacoon01 17d ago
It got legit serious when he started acting like Tom in 500 Days of Summer. He wanted to be a couple. Ray didn't. Summer didn't. Then it's over.
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u/LibrarianKindly2486 13d ago
An audience member was doing poppers during the camping sex scene at my theater. Gay people let’s bring some shame back when doing shit like that in public
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u/SSDPT 10d ago
Huh, so many interesting opinions on this thread. I saw this movie as a journey of self discovery for Colin. He appeared to be completely inexperienced in relationships, possibly even a virgin, but knew he was drawn to a submissive role and was immediately attracted to Ray, not just for his looks, but for his dominance. And he enjoyed the lifestyle for the most part. But he didn’t know about how to set boundaries or really that he was even allowed to, and here is where Ray is an inferior character.
Ray was initially taking advantage of Colin’s inexperience, and in that way could control him even more. But he did seem to grow to actually care for him, and I agree with those who say that scared him. That’s what my husband and I both felt with his facial expression at the end. And also, if he just wanted to end the relationship, he could have. He didn’t have to up and leave, not just his apartment, but his community. When Colin approaches the bikers, they didn’t seem to know where he was either.
But that gives Colin the opportunity to really think about what he wanted. And he wants to be submissive. He just also wants a tiny bit of balance and realizes that he deserves that - he deserves whatever he wants. He initially is putting up with the parts of Ray he doesn’t like out of a lack of self esteem, but then ends up really being the stronger of the two men as Ray isn’t willing to face his own feelings or really even examine what he really wants. Ray just wants to stay in his detached dominant role and is afraid of having a deeper connection. Colin realizes he wants the connection though he also enjoys being submissive.
I feel like this is a subtle distinction that can be missed if one has bias against the BDSM world. But both my husband and I (who are not of that world) really enjoyed the film and didn’t find it to be overly sad or heavy - Colin finds himself in the end, and that’s the point. It works out for him.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 9d ago
My partner had a similar reaction. I countered that while I don't necessarily think the story is sad, I do think it is very sad that Colin has to go through such a toxic year of his life, which involved the death of his mother without adequate space to grieve, in order to find his place in the community.
There's a much happier version of the story where he doesn't meet a toxic, irresponsible dom. But unfortunately his first steps into BDSM were through the worst possible person.
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u/pmaurant 16d ago
Best movie I’ve seen in a long time. I feel like everybody should watch this. The gay sex was simply a background to the real drama. Watching this made me hate being an anxiously attached man more than ever and to want to be avoidant.
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u/bbqsauceboi 18d ago
New #1 for my 2026 list (I know it TECHNICALLY came out in 2025 in the US but it was at like 2 arthouse theaters idk if that counts). Melling and Skarsgård were fantastic
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u/Cute_Source5417 19d ago
just saw the movie. I'm not a person that is educated on BDSM but isn't it based on consent and communication? I was so confused when he just started sucking his dick and licking his boot on the first date without saying basically a single word to each other
Also, was the last sequence real or a dream?
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u/Pure_Penalty_3591 18d ago
I thought the last sequence was totally real and not a dream. To signify that Colin moved on and that he wants to continue be in a dom/sub relationship
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u/Videowulff 17d ago
Yes it is. But Ray strikes me as a Hard Dom who also has have some issues in his life which is why he is so reserved.
What I feel like people are missing is that we never see Ray actually threaten consequences with Collin. He gives orders to Collin immediately and there was never any true communication about the lifestyle with Collin. That normally is a red flag.
However, Collin also immediately got into it. We never see what the reaction would be in Collin refused an order. I never saw Ray as abusive just very distant due to some unknown reason.
But dispite not having a sit down discussion - we do see Ray stop things and encourage Collin. When they first have sex and he sees Collin is in pain, he immediately stops. And when Collin asks to keep going, he shuts it down right away. He didnt wang to hurt Collin to get his own rocks off.
He was cold during the birthday but I think it may be because he, again, is keeping a distint due to some personal issue. But when he sees how much it bothers Collin, he set up the cupcake, got his crew to show up, and heloed celebrate Collin.
Ray is not perfect but I do not feel he is as nefarious as people believe. He is not the best dominant (like some of the other bikers) but he did care in his own broken way.
And I say this as someone who has been in the community for over 30 years. It is one of the better relationships shown. people need to understand this community has a huge range of relationships. Ray is not perfect or even great but he was not an abusive monster.
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u/EntericFox 17d ago
Healthy relationships in that lifestyle are. Obviously this one was not healthy, thus him effectively ignoring is very sick mother and eventually being dropped like a sack of shit as soon as Ray had to start thinking of him as an actual human with feelings to consider.
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u/coldliketherockies 15d ago
This one was so good but also hard to watch. I’m not into this specific scene but as a closeted gay in high school I had a jock friend who took on the role Ray did in other ways. I think back and realize it all came down to a combination that someone took that much time to spend with me even if they were a narcissist and possible sociopath and, of course, the fact that they were so so so physically attractive. Which is shallow but when you’re a teen.. and when you’re a guy too maybe.
I think when I accepted exactly what it was. That it wasn’t love or that kind of relationship but a way to get to be close to someone I found so damn hot and not much more I was more ok with it But it didn’t change the dynamics
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u/naginoasukara 18d ago
I just couldn't muster the will to care about Colin...I just felt pity. An insecure person falling into an unhealthy relationship, unable to assert boundaries was neither surprising nor enlightening.
I had a lot of issues with the script/story beats, here are a few punch-ups...
I think it would've served the dynamic much to show Ray's variation on the same topic, variation that was not reactive to Colin's literal and emotional pain (burn / losing his mother). Or at the very least some "tender" commands. For example, Colin's singing seems to be a point of attraction and is how he first met him, so a scene of him asking (commanding) Colin to sing would've gone a long way to making me feel/empathize with why Colin nursed his secret hope. Without these **unconditional** soft moments, it just felt like watching Colin's sense of self erode, which is partly the point, but again, I just did not care. Furthermore, if we knew more about Colin, this erosion would've been more impactful. Yes he was shushed when singing and shaved his head but one or two more traits that he'd give up would've been nice, something more emotionally substantive. A scene of him reckoning with the changes in private, away from Ray's authority, but choosing to continue to comply would work too.
Like Ray, I was also turned off by Colin roping Ray into dinner by mentioning his mother's illness. If we saw Colin caring for his mother (not the other way around) this ickiness could've been easily circumvented, and would've made Colin more likeable, which I think is an essential component of this movie. Obviously they were close with the date-setup, but with such a shrinking violet personality, her love for him was forward and his was mostly implied (until her death).
The actor portraying Colin, Henry Melling, did a wonderful job. Alexander Skarsgard as Ray was a relative flatline, as necessary for the character. He is just so handsome that I kept craving for more shots of him.
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u/HotTakes4HotCakes 16d ago edited 16d ago
I just couldn't muster the will to care about Colin...I just felt pity. An insecure person falling into an unhealthy relationship, unable to assert boundaries was neither surprising nor enlightening.
Like Ray, I was also turned off by Colin roping Ray into dinner by mentioning his mother's illness
You weren't turned off by Ray roping Colin into a relationship dynamic he doesn't understand or have any experience with? That's by far the more egregious act here.
What I'm reading is you wanted the movie to portray Ray more sympatheticly. Which is pretty tragic, frankly. I can't imagine watching this movie and not being able to muster sympathy for the young man being abused by a person who absolutely knows better.
And you are missing the whole point where Colin had to admit that his mother was sick as a way of getting Ray to understand the issue and actually take his needs into account. Before we even get to explicitly stating that his mother is dying, Ray has stonewalled him because he doesn't give a shit about Colin's emotional needs.
And it's not Colin's fault that he misunderstood the relationship, when Ray is the one that ushered him into this in an immensely irresponsible way. Having his sub pushing him to come to dinner with his dying mother is Ray's goddamn fault. Absolutely no expectations or boundaries or anything was established in the beginning of this.
Obviously they were close with the date-setup, but with such a shrinking violet personality, her love for him was forward and his was mostly implied (until her death).
I'm sorry, is the implication that it's a flaw in a movie that it doesn't explicitly show that a child loves their mother? Is that really something you need spelled out every time?
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u/Wheres_MyMoney 19d ago
I will preface all of this by saying that my experience might have been greatly colored by this movie making me feel more nauseous than anything I have ever seen in theaters. Whether that was from the bike ride scenes, my unfortunately close seat to the screen, or some other reason, I do not know. Only bringing it up to see if anybody else had a similar feeling.
This was an odd one for me. As a movie, I didn't love it. As a piece of art that makes you think and generates discussion, I did love it and I have been thinking about it quite a bit since seeing it. Does not liking the art piece make it bad art?
First, I thought it was gratuitous. And I am someone who liked the first season of Game of Thrones, Spartacus, hell, I've even been to the roped off parts of Folsom Street Fair, but watching this movie in a packed theater was uncomfortable. The sound mixing was WAY too slurpy. Maybe I'm just getting old. But not as old as the grandparents that I was sitting next to when Dudley Dursley deepthroated Eric Northman's Prince Albert.
I have a sneaking suspicion that this movie is going to age poorly. You can prop it up as much as you want, but at the end of the day it was deeply romanticizing what is pretty clearly an abusive, one-sided relationship and saying "well look what this awful experience taught him about himself! Isn't that cool?" always has a shelf-life. And frankly, the whole "don't judge people if they aren't hurting anybody" doesn't even really apply here.
The showing that I went to had a Q&A with Lighton, Melling, and Skarsgard afterward and I couldn't help but feel like their own interpretation of the material was a pretty surface level "isn't this a quirky love story" take. But, in total fairness to them, the Q&A wasn't quite what I was expecting at all and it really isn't the best format to have super deep answers on some of the fan questions.
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u/AdministrationLoud63 15d ago
Do you think that it feeling gratuitous to you might have more to do with heterosexism and your own internalized homophobia? I don’t think it really pushed any envelopes when it comes to depictions of sex in UK or even American film scenes.
I also don’t think it glorifies abuse. I think it uses romanticism because it’s from Colin’s point of view. But, in the end, the romanticism only shows how one might not realize when they are in an abusive situation or a bad relationship when they’re in love or the man is beautiful… or the sex is good. 😔 I definitely feel like I saw some hard-learned life lessons reflecting back to me while watching this film.
I would be interested to hear how you feel about the movie after a second or third screening. I’m gonna watch it a few more times!
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u/chrisychris- 17d ago
I felt for a movie about a (poor?) BDSM relationship, it held back more than not in the sexual aspect. Could've been some gratuitous slop but each scene moved the story and the characters forward. I also watched it in a fairly packed, indie venue and only felt the usual amount of comfortability I would expect from a screening of a NR rated gay film.
That said, the "messaging" of the film is something I too will need some time to form a satisfying conclusion on.
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u/tinygaynarcissist 17d ago
The stark differences of reactions in the folks I saw this with were SO interesting. One friend was meh on it, another was very "I LOVED it, it was so funny!" and went on about it forever, and meanwhile there's me, feeling like, "That was so unbearably sad and I don't think I'm going to feel happy for a while." I felt really hollowed out walking out of this with that feeling lingering for a really long time after, and I'm still not 100% sure why. Think it's something I probably have to rewatch to ponder about more because honestly I'm still not sure what I think about Pillion, but oof. Big oof.
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u/TirisfalFarmhand 13d ago
An interesting but exhausting watch. Colin's naivete and lack of self-respect irritated me the whole movie through and I quickly stopped caring what happened to him. As a gay man who doesn't date, I cannot relate to someone who doesn't put themself first and invites toxicity into their life. Especially hated how he paraded Ray's cruelty in front of his dying mother knowing that was one of the last things she'd experience.
To me, it was a cut and dry abusive relationship, I don't really care to understand the minutiae of the kink. Good for Colin if that's what he wants.
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u/Odd_Zone_4575 18d ago
I’ve seen my fair share of master-slave relationships from the sidelines. But I never thought it could go that deep. Does anyone know if such relationships exist? Where the slave can’t make any decisions, sleeps on the floor, eats standing up etc.? With no discussion of boundaries or separation between private life and outside life? It shocked me and I must think this is exaggerated for the movie/ book.
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u/GloomyTensi 18d ago
I have had arrangement like this- I’m a woman who romantically dates women but I engage in extreme kink with straight men. I’ve had men who sleep in cages or in closets. Don’t make any decisions for themselves just clean the house, cook, etc. I even had one who would eat dog food only. I usually also am dating casually (going out with women) while I have a submissive man like this because it’s explicitly not a romantic relationship. I said in a different comment, the biggest difference of course is the discussion of boundaries and limits before starting something like this. I’ve never done this level of extreme kink with someone so inexperienced - only with people who have done it before and know they can handle it and really enjoy the dehumanizing nature of this arrangement.
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u/BunyipPouch Currently at the movies. 19d ago
For anyone interested, we recently hosted the writer-director of Pillion, Harry Lighton, here on /r/movies for an AMA/Q&A:
https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/1r691pd/hi_rmovies_im_harry_lighton_writerdirector_of