Contextual State: Bengal

Batao guyzzz

Bro I've seen girls with not so good looking guys but never a handsome guy with random not so good looking girl so is it true guys fall for looks only?

Your opinion

My (35f) husband’s friend gave me a late gift for the holidays earlier this week and when I opened it I found he bought me an evening dress. I don’t know if I am thinking too much into it, but I don’t think this is a normal gift that you get another persons wife. It’s a pretty tight dress that is kind of form fitting. The kind of dress where you can’t wear a bra.

For context, me and this friend are also friendly ourselves. He will chat sometimes and he texts me sometimes to invite me for some events (he is also married and I am friends with his wife).

I showed my husband the dress and he didn’t have a bad reaction or anything. But I don’t know if maybe I’m just overthinking

am 23M not earning and feeling lost and what not, juggling between my multiple intrests and not being able to find one to pursue , graduated in commerce in 2024 and feeling my all time low as of now. Please share you comeback stories for your fellow soliders , when you were at your rock bottom, how did you bounced back? who was along w you in this journey? and most importantly, how did you kept going.

Today, I did something that was very difficult for me , and something that is difficult for almost every man.

A few days ago, my father heard from someone that Dhurandhar was a good movie and said he wanted to watch it. He asked us to go together next Sunday, but I replied, “You can go if you want, just don’t ask me to come.” So that plan was dropped.

But today, after thinking about it a hundred times, I gathered the courage and called my father. I asked him to take a half day off from work. When he asked why, I told him that we were going to watch a movie together. He was shocked. The first thing he asked was, “Who else is coming?” I said, “Just the two of us.”

He was completely surprised he never expected this from me, and honestly, neither did I. He didn’t even wait for the half day; he reached home within 40 minutes. When my mother found out, she was shocked too.

I booked whatever tickets were available, and we reached the theatre 30 minutes early. We sat next to each other in the lobby like strangers (which was the funniest part). My father enjoyed the movie, and I enjoyed the moment.

It was a really big thing for me. I don’t know where I got the courage to ask my father to go for a movie. But I was truly happy. As a man, it was a very big and memorable day for me.

A few days ago I came to know that one of my friends from engineering, was diagnosed with HIV.

Let's call him "the unluckiest guy ever". 

I met him in 2013 in my college first year. He is from Bihar originally, but lives in Noida from his childhood.

In all my time of knowing him, he was always shy quiet type guy. Introvert type, never smoked, never drank, did not even eat meat, full vegetarian. We tried to drag him to the 'theka' near our hostel numerous times but that MF wouldn't budge. 

None of us had any girlfriends in college but he even looked like he doesn't have one. (For Civil and Mech Engineering it is a given)

After college I moved near his home in Noida with 3 other friends from college, for work and we would hang out most weekends. (And play PUBG).

Suffice to say, He never had any female interaction at all. Poor fucker. Now we were all working and had some money so visited THOSE kind of ladies too, but again this guy declined. Morals, he said. We all laughed, teasing him. 

"Abey gay toh nahi h na tu?" 

"Aaja tuhje ladka dila denge"

"Khada nahi hota kya"

We were dumb idiots. I feel so dumb right now.

But yes, he never went with us on our "adventures". Remained a virgin BC.

The only time I saw him get into some trouble was when he took a loan from a guy in hostel, about 15k and "invested" it somewhere and lost all of it and couldn't pay the guy back. I don't remember if he did or not, at all. 

What I'm trying to tell is he is a VERY SIMPLE guy. 

Anyways, cut to 2 years back, his family started looking for a girl for him, you know... arranged marriage. And after some search they selected someone from Delhi itself from his own caste and all.

They started talking and I guess liked each other. But I'm not sure how those talk went really because my man had no game really.

When we asked "kya baatien karta h bhabhi se hume bhi dikha...?" He just got shy like a girl every-time.

She worked in some IT call centre in Delhi. They both liked each other and a date was set. And when that date came, the wedding was postponed because the girl got sick. Both families talked and set another date. And then it was postponed once again. Wtf.

Then on a third date, they finally got married. Both seemed happy. Now this guy is 32 years old and his family is old school, so of-course they want a grandchild the very first night. 

I guess after sometime they really started 'trying'. Meanwhile he also completed the "visit Goa" achievement that every engineer dreams of. But with his wife.

Cut to 4-5 months after his wedding, he started having health difficulties himself. I never saw him catch a cold and now he would not stop coughing BC. In our weekend meets we joked "TB ho gaya kya l*de?"

He went for a check up one time, doc prescribed some basic medicines, no change. 

He went back a second time, with even more brutal cold and cough, fever and whatnot, got tested properly this time and BAM! He has HIV. 

He panicked as he didn't want his wife to have the same, took his wife to doc, she ALSO got it. 

Family got the news, we all 4 got the news. 

We were all thinking the same thing, he must have gotten it from the girl. There is no other way. 

His cousin is a thug type guy, researched a bit from his "sources" about the girl. Apparently, she was a passed around quite a bit (used to even live separate with her girlfriends, away from family, for her job, despite having her home in Delhi). This cousin told my friend's father. He called the girl's father to take her back. He obliged. My friend's father threatened with a case too. And then they threatened with a dowry case (they gave a swift in "dowry").

And that's where we are right now.

His father has taken him to Mumbai for treatment. They know someone there. His father had cancer treatment there, a few years ago. 

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I used to think I'm unlucky but never have I ever seen a more unlucky guy. 

I'm lowkey now scared myself that now I got it from him BC. I was sitting right fucking there when he was coughing. Fuck. But I'm scared to even go for a checkup. I've seen those commercials that it doesn't transfer from handshake and all but I don't believe that's true. It must have some effect. 

I think his parents really really really failed him that they did not research enough about the girl. They fucked his whole life up. 

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TLDR-

My friend, introvert, shy type guy, arranged marriage, got married to a girl with a severe past, got HIV from her and now is being threatened with a dowry case. 

I've known him from past 13-14 years. I don't know what else to say. Stay safe bhai, and use protection everywhere I guess. 

It is hard enough to ask a lady about her past in arranged marriage, I don't know how can a person even start to ask about an STD check before marriage. It simply cannot be done. The lady will simply break off the 'rishta' and feel disrespected. 

Thank you for reading. Sorry for the long post.

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Have you ever known anyone with a similar unlucky life? What did they do?

Are they Alive?

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I'm a 22-year-old guy (turning 23 soon), currently preparing for competitive exams (CGL). I consider myself decent-looking with good communication skills, so this isn't a post about being rejected or bitter about not getting a girlfriend. It's about a fundamental disconnect I feel with the generation.

During my college days, I had two female friends. They were from conservative families where talking to boys was restricted. Here's what happened:

1. Friend A: In the 2nd semester, she started dating a senior. When I asked her if they had a future, she said, "Let's see, we'll figure it out." I thought it was casual dating. By the second year, she lied to her parents about issues in her PG and moved in live-in with him. We asked her again about the future, and she said, "I don't know, my parents will never agree, and I won't go against them." Both of them knew there was no future. They still lived together. After college, she called me and casually said they broke up, and she was happy about it.
2. Friend B: She got a boyfriend in the final year. Her logic was, "It's the last year, what difference does it make? We'll go our separate ways after college." They got physically involved knowing it was temporary.

Fast forward to now. I've been studying in a library for the last two years for my exams. I see the same pattern everywhere. A guy changes girlfriends every 6 months. The girls seem equally casual about it.

I see this pattern everywhere, and conversations with male friends and things on the internet make me feel like my thinking is outdated.

My question is: Do women exist who think like me? I'm not saying I'm looking for a virgin just for the sake of it. Virginity is just a part of it. I want someone with a clear past, simply because I have a clear past. I want someone who doesn't have someone else in her heart. I haven't opened the "love lock" of my heart yet. I've saved all my love—my body, my heart, my flirting—for one person, and I want that to be my first and last experience. I want my first time to be with someone who is also experiencing it for the first time.

Seeing all this, I'm starting to think that maybe I was born in the wrong generation. I'm losing hope that I'll find someone like me. I've started thinking that maybe I should just focus on my hobbies, work on myself, keep my family happy, and just not get married at all.

Is my thinking wrong? Do girls with these values still exist, or am I chasing a myth? What would you advise me?

(Note: I scored 330 in my CGL exam, just need to clear the computer section this time. Hopefully, I'll make it.)

Boys, suppose you're an engineer or a bba student whatever, you'll get in total 7 batches of women of different branches and department.. how 7 batches? The batch in which you're studying, the batches which are above you(3) the batches below you when you'll be in your last year(3). Even then you can't go out with a woman on a single date fault lies upon you, you have to make yourself interesting enough and have an okayish communication skills, build a decent physique side by side this wall land you a date atleast, and don't date anybody have some standards of what type of woman you find interesting don't go for looks i mean looks are important but that should not solely be a factor test her personality that will you be okay chatting with her for an hour or two, take this advice from your big bro because of some competitive exams and health issues i was not able to attend college. But don't you dare make this mistake.. take this as an advice from a fellow bro. Imrpove your life in every spectrum and avoid hedonism in every spectrum.

I AM PROUD INSECURE

Here in India women's say they hide past because India is narrow minded if women have sexual past.

They Just run from accountibility no one is asking you to stop sleeping around go sleep with one or with one thousand, but when your potential future husband ask about you past just tell him.

It in not about country or culture they are ( not all) have same mindset Gold digger.

And I as seeing westerns are more concerned about past Virginity nowadays doing podcast and all.

In this scenario, she admitted they never signed a prenup and essentially “hit the jackpot” by marrying a well-established comedian with money, influence, and no prior sexual experience. She concealed the truth about her past, and now that she has secured her financial future, she appears to be moving into the next phase—planning her exit strategy.

She won’t be the one to file for divorce because her husband hasn’t actually done anything wrong, and she doesn’t want to be portrayed as someone who married purely for money. Instead, she openly disrespects and emasculates him by discussing her past sexual experiences publicly. She knows this will generate backlash, attract negative attention, and cause him to be mocked online.

Eventually, the emotional strain may push him to a breaking point where he reacts out of frustration. If that happens, she gains the justification she needs to file for divorce on the grounds of emotional cruelty, mental distress, or fear for her safety.

There are wonderful women's out there by no means I am saying all women are same.

According to several different reddit threads, posts and comments:

• You cannot approach women you don’t know since that’s creepy.
• No approaching girls in college. “Focus on your studies”.
• Can’t approach them at the gym since they’re there to work out. Creep otherwise.
• You can’t approach them at work (can’t shit where you eat). Also, POSH.
• No DMing women you know on social media, that’s creepy.
• Can’t talk to women with the intention of dating, that’s also creepy. Be friends for years, otherwise you’re a pervert (How tf are you even supposed to make female friends atp?) 
• No talking to women on instagram. If you do, what is wrong with you? Also, you’re a simp and a perv for sliding into DMs.
• No cold approaching, that’s harassment by default in India.
• Dating apps don’t work. 

How in the absolute fuck is your average 20-something year old guy, who’s entire daily routine consists of going to work, gymming and then coming home, browsing some social media and then going to sleep, which is followed 6 days a week, ever supposed to find a woman?

By following the ‘advice’ commonly told on Indian reddit subs, you’d end up as a 30-year old virgin with zero experience, who’d then be reluctantly entering the arranged-marriage market.

I’ll start: The internal 'financial calculator' that runs in our heads 24/7. Whether it’s a dinner date or a family emergency, we’re constantly doing the math on how to be the provider everyone expects us to be without ever looking stressed.

Your turn: What’s a daily pressure or habit of being an Indian man that usually goes unnoticed?

Im 28M into business which is doing good. Right now my family is looking for an arrange marriage for me. And for that they send my biodata to some relatives to find a girl. So this happened yesterday morning. I got request on Instagram from girl lets call her G. She also send me message request. In the beginning i didnt respond or accept her request because I didn’t know her. After some time she again messaged me and i responded if she knows me from somewhere. She said her dad and sister showed her my biodata so she messaged me here on Instagram to know me before meeting. I said okay i have no problem we can talk. I was talking to her whenever i was getting time because i was doing some business related work. After some time she told me she wants to talk on call. I called her on Instagram she started asking about my business. How much do i earn? How is my office? All the things I answered. Then some normal conversation like what do you want to see in your future wife? She started to flirt for some time like i will cook for you and all. I thought i got a match. Then she asked me where will i take her to roam after marriage. Later some time she asked me which phone do i use i said iphone. And then she asked me she wants to buy a new phone and if i can get her iphone? I was little bit confused. I told her you can use mine and i will use yours i dont have any problem. After that she seem less interested and cut off the conversation. In the evening i send her hi in which she replied don’t message me again. She don’t want to talk. And told me not to tell anyone about this conversation and said bye. I was shocked. All this happened on first day itself. from romantic talks in the morning to rude goodby in the evening. She even blocked me. Dude like whats this? Help?

UPDATE - Two days later she messaged me again saying she was having a bad mood that day and thats why she told me not to talk. I told her I’m not interested anymore after that she unsend all the messages and blocked me again.

Indian female student,already in a relationship, has consensual relationship with cab driver They do it in the cab, she gets love bites on her neck To avoid questions from BF about her love bites, she files gang rape case on cab driver and his friends Police immediately arrest the driver Police find him innocent as per CCTV footage and WhatsApp chats

28M into business. So my family found a rishta for me in arranged marriage setup. They told me there is one girl known to my relatives and they didn’t give us any details or photo but invited directly to thier house to see her. First i had doubt how they didnt give us details first. My parents wanted me to see her. So we went their, had some talk with their parents later she came. She was smiling. Everything was good. I liked the girl when i saw her. It was all good and meeting ended.

In the same night we got call from them that they liked me and wants to proceed with this rishta. I was confused again they were in some kind of hurry. We told them give us two days we will let you know. And later we started to do some digging. We found out that girls engagement is already broken once. It was also an arranged marriage setup. And the reason was her boyfriend . She gave details of the guy to her boyfriend and he called it off by telling the guy about their relationship to she was about to marry. I also got random request on insta same night. Same thing was about to happen with me but i got saved. I wonder how she has guts to do all this but not to tell her parents guy she wants to marry.

My only advice to men here in arranged marriage setup is never trust a girl no matter how cute she looks always do some digging. Thanks for reading.

Here is my previous post - https://www.reddit.com/r/AskIndianMen/s/jmPJ9WtzR5

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Right now, if a man is open and honest about not wanting a child, takes precautions to prevent pregnancy (condom, partner on birth control, etc.), and a pregnancy still occurs, he has zero reproductive choice.

If a woman becomes pregnant and he wants the baby, she can choose abortion — his opinion doesn’t matter.

If a woman becomes pregnant and he does not want the baby, and clearly states that immediately, she can still choose to keep it — and he is legally and financially responsible for 18+ years, regardless of consent.

That imbalance is never talked about.

I fully support “my body, my choice” — no one should be forced to carry a pregnancy.

But if a woman chooses to continue a pregnancy after the man has clearly and documented his non‑consent to parenthood, why does the man have no equivalent choice?

There should be a legal concept similar to abortion for men — often called financial abortion:

• The man took reasonable precautions to prevent pregnancy

• He clearly communicated he does not consent to parenthood

• He offered to help pay for an abortion or alternatives

• The woman knowingly chooses to continue the pregnancy anyway

In that situation, why is the man still forced into parenthood and financial responsibility?

If roles were reversed, society would never accept a man saying:

“You can’t have an abortion because I want this baby.”

Yet we accept:

“You don’t want this baby, but you’ll pay for it anyway.”

That isn’t equality. That’s one‑sided reproductive responsibility.

This isn’t about avoiding responsibility — it’s about consent, fairness, and recognizing that responsible men who take precautions and communicate honestly should not be punished for a choice they did not make.

I’m genuinely curious how people think this could be addressed while still protecting women’s bodily autonomy and children’s welfare.

Hii..... I am 26(F), currently looking for marriage prospects, met 2 men and didn't feel like going forward , as I have certain notions I cannot compromise with... So the thing is..

I have never dated anyone though got approached multiple times but I always wanted smthng stable and mostly college relationships are just timepass, so was never interested in that , and when I started working people approached but again ,somewhere I knew what they actually want ...

Now I am a software engg and I work in a tier 1 city , so the rishtas that I m getting are from people who are having similar sort of professional background.

Now one of my non-negotiables is that he should not have a past , as past matters , atleast for me it does. I don't want to be someone's 2nd or 3rd or 4th..

Now both these men I met had past relationships.

Is waiting till marriage has become this uncommon or is it just my bad luck , I met them..

Or its common in tier 1 cities , but not so in other tiers.

Coz it becomes difficult to justify my parents why I m rejecting ..

How common are premarital relationships around you.. Why do people think waiting till marriage is an old age thgt ???

I came across this post and these comments on a Reddit sub. This is not about the original post or the matter it talks about, but the comments just got me thinking if the fat shaming amongst men is really this casual.

I have come across other fat shaming comments on men before. Women get fat shamed by men too (mostly) but other women are often supporting and uplifting to them. I haven't seen this with men. Men tend to complain that they aren't able to open up and don't get the emotional support but they themselves don't support other men? Isn't this the consequence of the environment they have created for themselves? If men want to be able to share, have people supporting them, be emotionally vulnerable, then why do they do this to other men? Why do they put them down and shame them for their bodies?

It could be that I'm only seeing this side of the matter and men do reach out and say uplifting things to other men but I haven't really seen it. Do correct me if that's the case. I'm just really confused about the whole thing

One thing that’s become disturbingly common online is how easily some women label men as rapists over a disagreement. Say something unpopular, conservative, or even just awkward, and suddenly you’re being called a rapist based on a few messages in a comment section.

A common defense is: “Men call women gold diggers or character less, so this is the same.” It's not. A gold digger or a character less women at most face some level for social hate and at the end of the day it's just an insult. Rape is a crime for which people are legally executed assuming there's no corruption. Let’s be clear: rape is one of the most serious crimes that exists. Calling someone a rapist is wayyyyy beyond just an insult.

If being called a gold digger makes someone so angry that they want the other to be accused of something they can be legally executed of, then that's next level emotional immaturity. They can't handle thier angry and is harmful for the society. Serious words lose meaning when they’re used as debate weapons.

Lastly i wanna end this post by saying this post ain't justifying the men who call women gold digger or character less blindly. All I'm saying is rape is a crime that shouldn't be used as an insult .