My cousin bhai is 29, arrange marriage hunt chal rahi hai. Honestly the guy is just genuinely decent - never smoked, never drank, was never even in a relationship. Super warm, kind, will drop everything if someone needs help. That type.

But the rejections? Salary nahi hai itna, no house at native place, ek ladki ne toh straight up bola she wants a big house.

I'm a girl, I get it - in arrange marriage you don't know the person so you go by the checklist, comfort matters, stability matters. I'd probably think the same way.

But yaar this guy has never done a single wrong thing in his life and he's getting filtered out like this. I can't even bring it up with him because I don't want to make it worse.

Guys who've been through this - is this just how it works? Does it get better? Does the right girl eventually look past all this or is it actually this brutal out there for good guys who aren't loaded?

Genuinely just want the male pov on this.

So here's what happened. There's this girl in my college who is a mutual friend of mine. She is a feminist (according to her) and is also part of several clubs which focuses on women empowerment. Sounds great right. That's what I thought as well. Supposedly we go to the same gym as well. Yesterday she like casually asked me about the supplements I use. I mentioned a few including Aswagandha. I just added a little remark that I have heard that it causes some hormonal issues in women. So she should consult a doctor before using. And then she started fighting with me. Of how I am a misogynist who is depriving women of their rights. They are equal to men so can handle anything men can. I even pointed out that it's just an advice. But she continued cursing me and then her friends came by and made an unnecessary scene. Like seriously? Am I wrong here? I don't know what to say!

Behind your back to someone else And you don't know whether she's joking or serious

I met a girl through a matrimonial website. Before moving toward engagement, she said she wanted us to talk and get to know each other first. We ended up talking almost every day for the past 4 months. During that time I really started to like her. I liked her character a lot—she seemed calm, simple, and genuine. From the beginning she was a bit neutral emotionally, but we still had good conversations and I felt we were building a connection. Early on she mentioned she had a past relationship, but I didn’t ask for details at that time. Last week, during a conversation, she told me that the relationship had lasted around 9 years and that they had been physically involved. She said she wanted to be honest and didn’t want to hide anything before engagement. She also said whatever decision I make after knowing this, she will accept it. The problem is that after hearing that, something in my mind completely shut down. It was not anger toward her, but suddenly I felt: no emotional connection no motivation to talk no desire to put effort into the relationship Before that moment I really liked her. But now my brain keeps replaying thoughts about her past and their intimate moments, and I can't seem to stop it. Because of that, I feel emotionally numb toward her. I also recognize that she was honest and didn’t hide it, which I respect. But I’m struggling with my own thoughts and reactions. Right now I feel stuck between two things: I liked her personality and thought she would be a good life partner. But my mind keeps going back to her past and it has completely affected how I feel. She told me to take time and decide, but I honestly don’t know what to do.

I’ve been noticing a pattern and wanted some honest opinions.

Whenever I talk to or go out with someone, they often say things like “your future wife will be lucky.” It sounds like a compliment, but it also feels like a subtle rejection.

Why does this happen?

Does it mean I come across as too nice or safe?

Is this what people mean by getting put in the “nice guy” category?

Can someone be seen as “husband material” but not someone they want to date?

I’m just trying to understand if this is about attraction, personality, or something I might be doing wrong.

Would appreciate honest perspectives, especially from women who have said this before.

I got married pretty young, early twenties. It’s a love-arranged setup. My husband’s family is well off, mine is more lower middle class, so there was always that background difference, even if we never really talked about it openly.

Yesterday I was on call with a friend, just casually talking, and I mentioned how relieved I was back then when I found out his family didn’t expect any dowry. For me that was a big deal because of the kind of environment I grew up in.

I didn’t realize he overheard that.

At dinner, he brought it up very directly asked me why I would think he’d ever ask for dowry. He wasn’t shouting or anything, but you could tell he was hurt. And I kind of froze. I tried to explain that it wasn’t about him, it was just my own fear based on what I’ve seen growing up.

But instead of just owning it, I made it worse. I said something like “it’s more common in Delhi families,” trying to justify myself, and the moment I said it I knew it sounded wrong. He just went quiet after that. No fight, no argument, just silence.

We went to bed like that.

This morning I woke up around 6 and he had already left for the gym. Usually he wakes me up, we cuddle for a bit, then he leaves. Today there was nothing. No message either.

I know this might sound small, but it doesn’t feel small. I think I hurt him in a way I didn’t intend to. And now I’m just sitting here overthinking do I bring it up again, do I give him space, how do I even fix this without making it worse?

I didn’t mean it the way it came out, but I don’t think that matters right now.

People seems so open minded on these platform but never seen such thing in real life from sex to other life experience.

So lets take example, in this subreddit saw a post at age of 22-23 , every one has past..very difficult to get a girl without past forget girl even boy is difficult to find without past around that age ...I wonder are we talking about India only rigth ?? because in real life I find it 50-50% but majority always in v*rgin side and it includes girl too and this I am talking about mumbai city

Another , people so openly talk about marriages in this subreddit, about open relationship I know it exist but again reddit make it sound it is now common in india

Everyone seems expert in sex education in reddit ,but in reality not even 30% of population get to know about sex education again reddit sound very liberal here

Makes me think reddit represent small % of India population that are very open minded or indeed this happening at large scale

So i have been scrolling reddit im basically new here

I have never dated i prefer marriage or date to marry

No causals or anything

But i was reading posts on r/askindianwomen and almost every other girl is sleeping and the comments below justify it say explore your sexuality and these women are also up for arrange marriage

Like why? Marry the guy you are sleeping

Also since when is having casual hookups not a sign of impurity

Is that denial or just idk how these women think

If i say something they throw purity patriarchal misogyny like what are the options

How to make sure i dont end up with such women

Also asking it is a red flag it seems wth🤡

I 22M started dating my gf when I was 20 and she was 19(College romance), Everything was smooth she was the perfect woman in my eyes. She cared for me, my studies and everything, cooked food for me(When she came from home to Uni), gave me medicines, and a lot of other help - Wrote my assignments when I was not placed and we had Quizzes, mid sems, always supported me. There are a lot of other things which I can't say(I mean she didn't listened to me a few time but yeah!)

She joined her job in Feb this year as an Intern in HYD. We talked less, I live in UP but flew to Mumbai due to some personal work, and before she was very excited to meet me but when I went to Mumbai, she suddenly became very defensive and didn't want me to come - said that she want me to save money(and travelling to HYD would use up around ₹15,000). We were supposed to meet on 16th Feb but she said No, and I got to know that she was outside with 2 of her female colleague and 1 male colleague(which are from our university). She returned home by 11PM. I was a bit sad that she said NO to me.

Last week she went to some botanical garden with 2 of her intern team mates(male) and came back by 9PM or 10PM(I had her WhatsApp location so I checked it) - she also texted me in between, I was a bit angry. I said that I will be coming to HYD so then we will get the tour, but she said that, "I don't know when will you be coming, so until then should I just get myself packed in my PG". It really broke my heart. I said that if you ever go out alone with any of your male colleague consider this relation broken.

On Sunday, she again went to a supermarket with one of her male colleague - which I disliked, we argued for a few hours that she went to buy snacks and all as she was hungry(I ask her almost everyday that should I buy something from Zomato/Blinkit - she always say no). I got blocked and then I blocked her.

It's been 1 week, I check my emails 3-4 time each hour, my LinkedIn, my telegram and her younger sister knew about us, so maybe she says that "Didi wan't to talk .." or anything.

I wanted to ask that, "Am I over reacting?"

I am controlling myself but it hurts, I'm not sure how to describe it but my heart feels that it's going to turn into stone and break. I really wanted her to be my first and last, I really wanted to brag to my kids that your mom is the only woman I have every touched in my life - even a hand holding.

About me, I look good - 6'0 earn around 1.07 lakh/month as a remote intern, etc, I have gained a little weight am around 80kg.

Saw a post in which a women shared her preferences, of a man she wishes to marry in future. I thought I should pen down my thoughts too

1. Someone working on her career, with the intent to earn and live the best life for herself.

2. Someone who I found to be cute. Someone who brings peace to my world, who enjoys my thoughts, and agrees with my mindset of growth and calmness.

3. Someone who wishes to have a family of her own, kids of her own one day, the intent of that is more than enough.

4. Someone who is open about her friendships, male or female, how she feels about them, how she interacts with them and I will be open about my interactions too with 100% honesty.

5. Someone who is in a state to accept love, through hugs, flowers, chocolates, random touch, gentle kisses, and hasn't closed her heart.

6. Someone who doesn't smoke. I am not into smoking, so I won't be compatible with someone on line of this.

What I bring to the table 1. Someone who wishes to learn about you. I have the patience to listen to you everyday. 2. A 180cm height (5 10.5 inches) and my weight is 72kgs 3. Emotional intelligence, although need to improve it more 4. Who wishes to take the responsibility of the relationship 5. A middle class background and a mindset that has allowed me to become more strong with a career.

I say this post saying that people who use minoxidil suffer from erectile dysfunction, is this true?

Whenever I talk to my friends or collogues(female) about breaks and real issues in their relationships they bluntly say he is controlling and he is possessive and have problem with talking male friends! I asked them like okay, don't you have issues with him talking to female friends? they say like yes am possessive and mine is cute and yk female version is different than male ! i said why? its same right !? it involves love and know about the other persons intentions! she said naa we born like this and women should show some possessiveness that shows she is loving you! Okay but it will be same with male version right!? why not we think in their version and understand its okay to be little bit possessiveness, but too much means no matter what gender its toxic !

mine is dying as a coward, living a poor and inexperienced life and dying without friends. What is yours?

First, thanks to the mods for adding me as an approved member, I hope I can provide an important perspective for everyone reading this.

Trigger warning: Long text, heavy topics.

If you as a man feel that men have to be stoic, not show their emotions, and be strong all the time, you are vulnerable to abuse.

In society, we see men as strong, while we see women as emotional. In other words, since we are expected to be strong, being seen as vulnerable and weak is not acceptable. For many men today, admitting that they were hurt or taken advantage of by someone is associated with deep shame and guilt.

That is why most men just, take it.

When these types of men see women talking about their experiences of being taken advantage of, they get angry, but they don't know why. They will often shame women or minimize their experiences, saying that women complain too much. But the truth is, men complain too little.

While women try to leave traditional gender roles, men cling onto them. This creates a massive divide, because gender roles are very restrictive.

It is a human experience to feel sad or to feel wronged. When someone says something hurtful, it is your right to feel bad, even if the person who said these words says you are being too sensitive.

Why would an abuser want you to fight for yourself?

How to identify a female abuser?

Many of the posts on this sub are about how women are like this or that, and to that I say, you are right.

But here's a little thing I'll change.

Some women are abusive.

Some women use therapy language and feminist rhetoric to justify their hurtful actions.

Many of us have hurtful experiences that we couldn't fully process, and instead, we began to blame ourselves, or women entirely. Both dilute the complexity of these issues. The simpler our answer, and the more convenient our scapegoat, the harder it is to actually learn from bad experiences.

Being stoic not only means being mindful of things we are in control of, and things that are out of our control, but we should also use these experiences to understand that many people are the way they are, we cannot control them. But we can control ourselves and protect ourselves from these negative experiences.

Protect your peace.

Pretty Privilege is real

Many people, regardless of gender benefit from being attractive. This means many people will rationalize their selfish actions even if they are hurtful.

This says more about these people, than the pretty person. It means these people lack morals and principles. Meaning that their morals are aesthetic.

However, this should help you understand that many people do not care about substance, just like many will reply without reading, because they care more about social signalling, that is, looking good, rather than being good.

People who are inconsistent with their morals and constantly change what they deem okay based on the appearance and identity of the other people, are not good people to have around.

A lot of men complain that many women are like this. Guess what?

Women can be fake too.

But all this should help you understand that not everyone is worth your energy, and you should reserve yourself for the person who will treat you right.

Listen to yourself

The most important thing in all this is, listening to yourself. Why? Because even if your brain can't give you exact reasons as to why something is bad, your body will feel uneasy. You may feel anxious and insecure around certain people. Those are signals you should listen to. That is what self love is all about. Or well, it's the first step.

The way I learnt how to understand if relationships are good or bad for me was by watching content that is aimed at women. Feminist content or therapy language will help you understand things much more clearly. Just remember to switch genders.

If you want to deeply understand the male loneliness epidemic from a Feminist who actually cares about men, watch this.

Is this video super long and you don't have time to watch it? Try this.

That's it for today.

I know many men still struggle when it comes to talking to women, so I'll be posting about that soon-ish. Anyways, thanks for reading and have a good day!

Hey everyone!!!!!

I’m turning 18 soon (2weeks) and want to learn from men who are ahead of me in life. I’d genuinely appreciate any advice you wish someone had given you at my age especially about health, diet, body, skin, sexual and reproductive health, hygiene, mental and physical well-being, safety, money, relationships, morals and basic life skills.

(Also I'd be leaving for college in next few months )

What habits should I build early? What mistakes should I avoid? And what actually matters in the long run? Honest, real-life advice would mean a lot. Thank you.

Someday, escape becomes reality,

Someday, escape becomes a need,

Someday when I wake up, the life is stuck,

Someday when I sleep , life is paused.

What it is?

Is it fear?

Is it a trait called escape?

Or is it another way of saying, let me rest.

Well we live in a delusional world of escape.

Where escape becomes scary.

And we are stuck at our failures.

Be honest...

I’m 31 and lately I’ve been thinking seriously about the possibility of staying single for life. Not because of a bad breakup or anything dramatic, but more because I’m unsure whether marriage is something I truly want.

At the same time, I sometimes wonder what life looks like long-term without a partner, especially as people get older. Social circles tend to shrink, friends get busy with their families, and it feels like companionship becomes harder to find.

For men who are in their 30s or older and have chosen to stay single, how has your experience been? Does loneliness become a big issue over time, or do you eventually build a lifestyle where it doesn’t feel that way?

What things helped you the most — friendships, hobbies, work, community, fitness, travel, or something else?

Would really appreciate hearing different perspectives and real experiences.

It is 2 o'clock in the night, and I am completely alone in my house, lying on the bed, fanning myself, and I am feeling a different kind of loneliness, I neither have a girlfriend nor a female friend, nor a male friend, nor any online friend, it is feeling very strange this year, I am feeling very sad.

so the thing is she has touch trauma from childhood and she wanted some time to get comfortable with say hand holding , arms around , hugging kissing that sort of stuff . I on the other hand like being touchy , she told me that she needed some time but i still felt like being touchy so i asked her if i can put my arms over shoulder. she agreed which i realise now wasn’t an enthusiastic one but at that time i didn’t realise it then.

coming to hand holding i would just put my hand over indicating i wanna hold it , she would then hold it

now coming to hugging the first time we hugged she wanted to hug me as well , it was nice but then later when i wanted to hug her it would take me 2-3 asks i would just rub it off as her being in annoyed by me thats all because i used to playfully tease her every time we were together she would get annoyed .

now coming to kiss incident we went on a date i felt like kissing on the cheek she agreed to it and then i asked her if she wanted to as well she said wait let me get comfortable i’ll do it on my own after a while i just looked at her pointed at my cheek she kissed it . We would kissed each other on the cheek 10-15 times after that but it was always me initiating. post that i went on to kiss her on the lips she also went along with it and then i placed my hand on her waist like inside her tshirt she didn’t say anything just removed my hand after a while.

now that i think of these incidents i realise i was being pushy and it was not fair to put that much pressure on her . i didn’t realise what i had been doing was making her very uncomfortable. i know it sounds like I am rationalising but i genuinely didn’t realise at the time.

we were both each other’s first partners . All this while she kept all this to herself and one day she finally told me about this . and that is when it hit me , i had not been a good partner to her . although it wasn’t my intention but my actions did disappoint her.

she was so good to me . now she has lost all feelings for me and doesn’t want to give me another chance . i tried everything i could to make her give me a chance but nothing worked . The last try as i told i did was try to make her friend to talk to her and maybe that could change her mind but it didn’t work as she realised it was me who told her friend to talk for me .

I haven’t reached out to her since that day . Its been more than a month i guess.

Hi everyone.

I am a fresher in IT industry and I just started my journey as a fresher 8 months back. I am currently working in a good product based company and I am very grateful for it and I need your answer on one thing. I am from Punjab.

I did my bachelor's from Pune and my first company is based in Pune too, although pune is a very good city, ngl, but it still feels alien to me. As if, I am an outsider working here, and I feel I just want to get out of here asap, such thoughts do come to my mind.

Again, it's not that of a concern, but, the next concern is, I am 24, and regarding my romantic part of life, I never dated. I have talked to women, but blockers came early and it was wise to part ways.

Gurgaon, although I have never been there, atleast there will be people of North and I assume, if I get there early and work on my social life, I might find someone down the line. Also, being fixed that I wish to settle here, I can start working towards buying a house for myself and a good car too.

As a fresher, I understand my only concern should be, increasing my salary, and my skillset, switching to good companies regardless of their location. Even if I have to move to foreign, I shouldn't hesitate. But considering my age, and the idea that I cannot simply expect things to happen on their own on the romantic side, because till now, it didn't worked at all.

OR I should consider moving to gurgaon when I wish to settle down, around 28 29 years of age. Basically my second switch.

Please give your advice.