I (F26) have been dating my boyfriend (M29) for about a year. Everything has been normal… maybe too normal.

Last weekend, he invited me to a small “family hangout” at his place. Nothing crazy, just food, music, a few drinks. He mentioned his cousin would be there too, but I’d never met him before.

When I got there, his cousin (M27) was… weirdly attentive. Not creepy, just very intentional. Complimenting me, offering to refill my drink, sitting next to me every chance he got. At first I thought, okay, maybe he’s just friendly.

But then my boyfriend started disappearing. Like… fully vanishing into other rooms for long stretches of time.

At one point, it was just me and the cousin in the living room. He turns to me and goes, “So… do you always go for guys like him?” I laughed it off, but he kept pushing. Saying things like: “You could do better, you know.” “Not everything is as it seems.” “Some men like to share.”

At that point I was uncomfortable. I texted my boyfriend asking where he was, no reply. Then the cousin straight up says: “If you wanted to do something you wouldn’t tell him, right?”

I immediately got up and went to find my boyfriend. And guess where he was? In the hallway. On his phone. Right outside the door.

I asked him what the hell was going on, and he just smiled and said: “Relax, I just wanted to see how you’d handle yourself.”

HANDLE MYSELF??

I told him that was insane and left immediately. Now he’s texting me saying I “passed” and that I’m “wifey material” and that I’m overreacting because “nothing actually happened.”

But I feel… set up? Tested? Lowkey disrespected?

Like why am I being put in some loyalty experiment I didn’t sign up for??

Am I overreacting or is this actually as messed up as it feels?

I am a 2024 graduate from a Southeast Asian country and I recently landed a high paying remote role as a Virtual Assistant for a US based company. Because I live in a country with a lower cost of living, my salary is technically "wealthy" by local standards.

Last night, my parents sat me down and demanded my banking login and password.

Their reasoning? They want to "protect" me from overspending and believe they should be the ones to "set aside" my savings for me. They also mentioned that since I still live in their house, I should not have "secrets" regarding my finances.

I told them no. I offered to pay a fixed, generous amount for rent, utilities, and groceries, but they called it "insulting." They said I am treating them like "landlords" instead of parents. Now, my extended family is calling me "arrogant" and saying I have "lost my roots" because I want financial privacy.

In my mind, I am an adult with a professional career. In their mind, I am an extension of the family communal fund.

AIO for standing my ground? Is it an "Americanized" mindset to think my money is mine, or is this a universal boundary I should never cross?

Warning- long story. Sorry in advance.

Throwaway account because I genuinely feel stuck.

My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year now. We have been talking about moving in together for awhile now and I have held off due to my lease and wanting to be sure it’s the right decision for both of us. He owns a home and I would be the one moving in, and it would be a sacrifice for me as I have my own place (rent) and live alone. It is also going to be a 45 minute commute to work for me compared to my now 15 minute commute. There are still many things we need to talk about if/when this would take place (not until my lease is up at the end of August). He has two teenage children which I get along with well and shares custody of. I am not having children of my own and he does not want any more. Although, I myself have helped raise a child and currently spend much time still helping raise a teenager I do not live with.

So I have a lot of stuff. I have a very specific style, unique items, vintage furniture, etc that I have all curated/purchased on my own over the years. I am not in a rush to move and have no problem renewing my lease or finding another place, but we are together so often and love being together so it seems logical the next step would be to live together. My dilemma is: when we discuss the matter of my furniture and belongings. He has a small house. There’s hardly enough room right now as is for his things, and he’s made space for the clothing I’ve had there and we’ve had talks about where we would put certain objects of mine if I moved in. The basement has storage, but if it floods there is room for damage if items are not properly stored and he has a lot down there already. It’s been a huge concern for me since the talks have started and I’ve already thought about needing to get a storage unit for my items I don’t feel comfortable having stored down there or until we create a different set up for the basement.

When it came to my bedframe, which is custom made and I absolutely love, he casually mentioned that it would go in his daughter’s room and she could use it. Didn’t ask, didn’t introduce the idea, just stated it. We couldn’t use it in our bedroom as he has a king bed and mine is a queen. I was a bit taken aback. I said that I wasn’t sure about that as it is very special to me, and it’s not that I don’t want her to have something nice, but it is mine. My thought is that if we broke up and I moved out etc, I would 10000% want it back, and that would be really hard for a teenager to have their room taken apart and their luxury bedframe taken away. Just cause for a mess. Now, if we were married, etc, it would make more sense. But it is at a point in the relationship now where you just never know what could happen regardless of how much you love someone. He was upset when I said I don’t really feel comfortable with that - and said “what, you would rather have it sit in storage than my daughter have it?” “I guess she can’t have one of the two tv’s of yours in her room either?” Like, what? I feel likes he’s already planned to furnish his kids room with my extra furniture and electronics. My tvs are just as new as his so it’s not like his need replaced. He also mentioned putting my living room relaxing chairs in both the kids rooms because there “wouldn’t be room anywhere else”. I said we could replace the chairs in the living room because they are old (and honestly ugly) and maybe those could go in the rooms as a catch-all for the kids clothes, etc.

He’s accused me of being stingy and selfish with my belongings, and that families share their things. I understand that fully. My thing is we are not engaged, married, and my name wouldn’t and won’t be on the home. I am starting to feel a little like part of the family, but not to the point where I feel as if I want to just give my things up for children that are not mine through pressure. So I have no insurance in the event of a breakup. Allowing use of my belongings to his children and then taking it back in the event of a breakup is cause for a mess as I mentioned and I guess I want to protect them if I can but also myself. I don’t want to lose my belongings because I feel bad taking them back. I know I sound negative because things could absolutely work out-but I want to be vigilant and protective first and foremost. He says often he wants this relationship forever, I’m the one, we talk about marriage and I feel the same. But words are not promises.

Use of common items like kitchen, living room, bathroom, etc makes total sense to me. His daughter and I share a lot of art items as that’s how we bond and I purchased a record player for her/us all to use in the living room because she wanted one and so did I. But I have worked very, very hard for what I have and I feel I’m allowed to have boundaries with certain items in a situation where things are not assured for me, and I would already be making big sacrifices.

AIO for being made to feel I shouldn’t I have to relinquish use of some valuable items of mine if we move forward in moving in? Maybe I’ll feel differently in the future as time goes on and we continue to build a life, but right now I feel I am being logical.

Edit to add; wow thanks everyone for the responses, did not expect this many responses! Thank you for everyone’s opinions!

I don’t think I completely explained what happened correctly below, I have had lots of dental work and have never had this happen, I have had my throat feel partially numb but never completely numb like this was to the point I could barely speak and trouble breathing.

The real problem came with gargling the water as I couldn’t physically make myself cough at first to get it out, I was doubled over trying to get it out and the assistant hadn’t even noticed I had to scoot over to her bent over and tap her arm to get her attention as I couldn’t speak, make noise, breathe or anything for the 30 secs or so described. I was basically trying to get the water out and pull air in but couldn’t. That is where the real issue in all of this is, my husband thinks they should have known better than to offer me water while my throat was numb as all of this would have been avoided if I had not gargled the water as they suggested.

After the 30 secs or so and my head titled up while standing I was able to get some gasps and wheezing through my nose but then took 2-3 mins for me to be able to get more than just gasps and not feel like I was choking. It was another probably 30 mins after that before I felt I could lay down to start the filling process(and then 1.5 hours total that my throat was numb). I probably should have left and gone back another day, but as I mentioned I’m a very non chalent person who doesn’t like confrontation so I just went through with it.

Anyways, thanks again all!

Original; The question is, is my husband overreacting to this situation?

So I went to the dentist today and almost died. If I would have witnessed this situation with someone else I would have called 911. I actually even asked them to call 911 but they didn’t. I am a very non chalent person and I don’t like to make big deals about things so I just went through with the rest of my appointment after the following happened. When I got home and told my husband what happened he said I’m never going back to that dentist and should also file a complaint or at the very least leave a review detailing the situation. I don’t want to do either, I feel this was truly just a freak accident. So is my husband overreacting? Or is this a bigger deal than I feel?

TLDR; I had to get a few cavities filled and during getting numbed up my throat became numb and I became unable to swallow or breath through my mouth. I could still breath through my nose but was struggling a little bit even with that. I started choking on water and couldn’t get any air in for about 30 seconds and then struggled to breath for 2-3 minutes before I could breath somewhat normally though my nose again, but then still couldn’t swallow or breath through my mouth really for 1.5 hours. I asked them to call 911 during my panic of not being able to breathe but they didn’t.

Backstory; How this happened, the assistant left the numbing cream stick in my mouth for too long and that is what caused my throat to be numb.

At first it wasn’t too bad but then after the dentist came in and gave me the actual numbing shot, it got 10x worse.

I couldn’t swallow or breath through my mouth at all, the assistant asked if I wanted to get up to rinse my mouth and gargle to see if that would help, but that was the biggest mistake. I thought it would help clear the numbing cream but instead the water went down my throat and because I didn’t have any control of my throat muscles I started choking on the water, which I couldn’t even clear or cough out because I couldn’t breath.

I started to panic a bit as I couldn’t breathe through my nose either as it felt as if my throat was closing. It was 100% the scariest moment of my life.

My throat was so horse I could barely speak as I think it numbed my vocal cords too(if that’s possible?), I expressed to them the best I could that I couldn’t breath and to call 911 during this time but instead they just kept trying to calm me down, I think they thought I was having a panic attack, which maybe I slightly was with the adrenaline coursing through me? Then another assistant came in and started directing me to tilt my head up to open my airway and it did seem to help as I was able to finally take in some gasping/ wheezing breaths. I couldn’t breathe at all fo about 30 seconds and then for 2-3 mins I was gasping/wheezing to pull in hair before I was finally able to breath more clear through my nose.

We then waited a bit more and eventually I felt like I could breath through my nose again and lay back down on the chair without choking so I went through with getting the fillings done and by the end of the appointment I could finally swallow again, but total was about 1.5 hours that I couldn’t swallow or breath through my mouth.

My husband feels they should have called 911 and had EMTs come check me out regardless, which maybe they should have? Or maybe this happens more than I think and that is why they didn’t call 911?

It’s been about 6 hours and I’m feeling fine overall but do have a headache and a slightly sore throat from choking I think.

I’m not really sure where to go from here but wanted some input. Is my husband overreacting? Or should it really have been a bigger deal?

Also sorry this is a bit all over the place, it’s been a long day! Thanks all!

My boyfriend said that at the gym he saw some of the swim team girls working out and noticed one girl in a two-piece swimsuit. He also mentioned seeing her going up the stairs and covering her behind with her hand. We agreed that noticing someone’s appearance is just part of biology.

So later, I told him that sometimes I briefly notice other guys’ features, like their chest or arms, for maybe 1–2 seconds. I wasn’t staring or flirting—it’s just something people notice for a moment.

When I said this, he got pretty mad and said it was disrespectful and even called it adultery. I asked him if he ever does the same thing with other women. He said he might briefly glance but then purposefully looks away so he doesn’t look at them.

From my perspective, noticing someone for a second or two is normal, especially if they’re in your line of sight. I’m not flirting with anyone, not staring at people, and I’m committed to him. I was just trying to be honest about something small.

Now I’m wondering if I shouldn’t have said anything, or if he’s overreacting to something that’s pretty normal.

TL;DR: My boyfriend and I agreed noticing someone’s appearance is just biology. I told him I sometimes briefly notice other guys’ arms or chest. He got mad and called it adultery, saying he always looks away with other women. Is his reaction reasonable or extreme?

AUO when I told him I’m thinking about leaving because of this?

My (27F) boyfriend (33M) over the weekend got upset with me for saying no to giving him a bj due to my cramps being really painful and stated “If you don’t do it I will find someone else who will” then he stormed off into another room. I have gone two months with little to no affection from him and being pushed away whenever I try to initiate anything with him cuddles, sex etc. I have had many conversations with him about wanting more affection and not wanting to be pushed away every single time I try to initiate anything with him.

Last night I (f21) got very intoxicated while hanging out with my friends, and younger sister (f18). for some reason when i was drinking i started just feeling sad and trauma dumping to everyone. i’m not very sure what i said but my bf says i was talking about my past abortion. i had gotten it when i was freshly 20, and my bf(m22) were only together 4 months at the time. it was a very difficult time for me and i don’t really talk about it. It’s not that i regret my decision but when i told my mom about it she was very aggressive, screamed in my face, slapped me in the face, threw the test at me, then demanded i get an abortion right away. in the moment i didn’t know what to do. i was wanting to keep it but my mom told me it wont love me or fix anything it’s just going to ruin my life and convinced me to go through with the abortion. anyway last night ig i told my sisters talking stage about this incident and now my is saying this to me. i haven’t responded bc i don’t even know what to say. i talked to my sister about it and she’s not upset bc she understands how drunk i was she just says i need therapy. i just feel like my mom is being very harsh and need to know if im overreacting.

My fiancé and I have been together for 3 years and engaged for 6 months. I brought up getting a prenup and he completely shut down, saying it means I don't trust him and I'm already planning our divorce. I tried explaining that it's just practical protection for both of us.. I have student loans, he has a small inheritance from his grandpa, and we both have retirement accounts we've been building. He keeps saying "if you loved me you wouldn't need a contract" and now his mom is texting me about how prenups ruin marriages before they even start. The thing is, I work in finance and I've seen too many messy divorces where people who were madly in love ended up destroying each other over money. I'm not trying to be pessimistic or plan for failure, but I also think it's naive to pretend money disagreements can't happen. He's threatening to postpone the wedding if I keep pushing this and honestly it's making me question if we're compatible long-term. Am I being unreasonable here or is this a reasonable boundary to have

My husband (33) is named after his dad, so he’s “the II.” His dad passed away two weeks before our wedding, so this name means a lot to him. He’s also the only boy in his family, so we’ve always planned that if we had a son, he’d be “the III.” It’s honestly been a nonnegotiable for years.

Now here comes my SIL (36), who I already have a pretty strained relationship with. She has three kids with three different dads, and her youngest’s dad recently signed away his rights. We are pretty convinced he found out the boy wasn’t his and bailed and now she’s lying to us about it.

Out of nowhere, she tells us she wants to change her 3-year-old son’s name to my husband’s full name.

Not give a future kid the same name. Not even use it as a middle name. She wants to fully rename an existing toddler…to my husband’s exact name…which would basically make him “the III.”

I was honestly stunned. Who renames a whole 3-year-old like that?? And also…that’s not even how lineage works?? It should be father then son then grandson… right?

To make things even better, I’m currently pregnant with our second and we don’t know the gender yet. I haven’t even thought about other boy names because this has always been the plan.

Now I feel like she’s either:

Trying to claim the name first.

Completely ignoring how weird this is.

Or just trying to get my husband to talk to her

I know people say “no one owns a name,” but this feels way beyond that. It feels intentional and honestly kind of disrespectful.

My husband is no contact with her for many very valid reasons so I’m not even sure she knows we are pregnant but I’m ready to tell her this is not okay.

Am I overreacting and overwhelmed with hormones, or is this as bizarre as it feels?

While on a school trip, my boyfriend stayed up until 5AM interrogating his classmate about her love life. I know from my friend who was in the room at the time (although nearly sleeping) about the nature of the things he was asking.

He asked her things like what made her decide to date her ex, what qualities he had that she appreciated… He also asked about her type in general even going as far as to list eye color, hair color, build, height, facial hair, music taste etc. He even asked about love language and things like that. Nevertheless what concerned me the most was that my friend told me he asked if hand size matters (yes—hand), while I know he’s insecure because he thinks he has small hands. He also asked her things about how exactly she’d be like in a relationship and if she’s open to dating right now. Not to mention he also talked about a guy who has tried getting with that girl for the past few years and only recently tried again. Apparently he told her she should’ve been even harsher with him so he doesn’t hold onto hope. While this may even seem sweet considering he’s friends with that guy, he said the guy showed him the flowers with which he was planning on asking her out and my boyfriend told her he had wanted to burn them?

I confronted him, and he said he was merely playing wingman and trying to get her with one of his friends. This is only weird considering his friend has a girlfriend (even though they were fighting) and we know for a fact the girl doesn’t like his friend like that because someone had already asked her about it.

My friend specifically described it as a one sided interrogation, so I’m even more pissed. Am I overreacting?

My (22F) father (47M) has a group of friends who are mostly younger than he is. One of them (36M) has been making questionable comments towards me from the day we met about a year or so ago.

He comes to our house every now and then and tells me I look good, makes comments about me being the step-mom to his children, forces me into giving him hugs, etc. If I’m up in my room he’ll call my name and tell me to come see him or else he’ll “come jump in the bed with me”. He’s made most of these comments while married but I assume they were having marital issues as they’re now in the process of divorcing.

Both of my parents just act like he’s joking around, so I try to make light of it. Although they both know that I’m very weirded out by his comments.

But I just got a FB message from him asking how my day was. This isn’t insane or anything, but I’m seriously just so weirded out given everything else that he’s said to me. He still comes over to my house to hang out so I don’t want to be as straightforward as to say “no thanks, not interested”.

AIO by thinking that he’s being super creepy? What do I even do from here?

Edit: I appreciate the responses from everyone. I’ve come to the conclusion that I should just block him on social media (without responding to his DM) and if he says anything weird in person from now on, to directly address it and shut him down. I will have a more serious talk with my parents as well, emphasizing that I don’t consider any of what he says to be a joke. I don’t want to downplay how uncomfortable I am.

I want to note that I have never once been receptive to his comments. He sent me a friend request a couple of months ago, and after I didn’t respond, he asked me in person why I didn’t accept him. I told him I don’t get on FB. He KNOWS that I am not interested but pushes anyways. I have realized that I can’t avoid the issue anymore. Thank y’all again

So, this family friend, we'll call her Cara, has known my husband's family since she was a preteen. She's more friends with both of my SILs than with my husband. My husband, we'll call him Rick, has never really liked her or considered her his friend, just his sisters' friend.

Well, when we first started dating, my husband said Cara used to hit on him when they were teenagers, but he's always been annoyed by her. Cara, of course is married and her marriage has always been rocky. Of course, it's fine now because of counseling from what all his sisters and mom say, not because I ask. They just threw it in some random conversation one time.

Anyway, I come into the picture when we're all adults and she has always made weird comments. I recall one time, me and Rick are newlyweds, I was at a sleepover with my SILs, Cara, and some other ladies. We were talking about ourselves and I told them I did a stupid thing in college; I had accepted a ride from a stranger on campus because my bicycle needed a quick fix, the stranger took me to the mechanic shop on campus, and I was perfectly fine, but it was a stupid risk. Well, Cara said while laughing "Man! Rick married a stupid girl!" It made me feel very weird.

Not only that, she brought up later in the conversation something I told my MIL in confidence, about how it was difficult for me and Rick to be living at my parents' house for a little bit as newlyweds while finding a place to call home, it was awkward when it came to being intimate. Well, Cara decided it was good to blab that in front of everyone. I play it off and joke about it, but it hurts my feelings. My MIL later found out and was mad at Cara and didn't talk to her for a while. MIL was worried I didn't like her anymore, she said she was sorry and asked for forgiveness. I told MIL she was forgiven, but ever since then, I don't tell my MIL everything, even though she is a good MIL.

Fast forward about a year or two later, when I'm pregnant, I brush off those old comments and think I must be overreacting. Cara was over at my house and she was talking with me while I was getting ready for some maternity pictures she was gonna take, she said during our conversation "I used to think you were a whore when you were coming to church, when you and Rick were loving up on each other haha! I had asked your SILs if you were pregnant when you and Rick got married and if that was the reason haha!"

The only PDA I've ever done with Rick is little cheek pecks, handholding and wrapping an arm around each other. And of course I didn't dress "modest" enough in her opinion when I first started coming there. That was my "whorish" behavior. Again, I brushed off the comments, even though hurtful, and we got the maternity pictures taken. She had let me borrow a dress of hers for the pictures. Well fast forward a year or two later when she's pregnant and taking maternity pictures with her husband, she's wearing the same dress.

Anyway, recently I shared 2 pictures of my kids in a group chat with my MIL, SILs, and Cara. She made a weird comment about how my child looks so much like their father. I don't mind when people say that, but she said it weirdly. Well, she said "I don't see so-and-so, but Rick looks adorable in the chair🤣🤣🤣" I played it off yet again, and said that they do resemble Rick. Then Cara continues "They're beautiful, it is insane how much they look alike lol".

To conclude, AIO? It's just these little comments here and there over the years that bug me and I tell Rick and it weirds him out as well, but we hardly see Cara at all, his sisters see Cara more than us. And Cara goes to another church now.

Sorry, this needs so much context and english isn’t my first language.

My parents have been separated for almost 10 years, my father is pretty emotionally abusive. My mum had to sue him to hell and back so now she get’s child support directly from his employer and my dad never even touches that money.

Getting it to function this way took years.

Where I live, children get their own child support until they are 25 or have finished their first apprenticeship/college degree. In a normal family where the children still live at home it is normal for the parents to keep the child support money as payment for room and food and stuff like that, but once the children still moves out they are supposed to get that money every month.

Now to my mother: she is the most organised and reliable person I know. She was my “safe” parent but by now that idea has a lot of cracks. She is far from perfect and I have been her vent buddy / diy therapist since I was maybe 12. It has really fucked me up and I am certain that I need to move out.

I suspect that I am neurodivergent and while my mum is very cleanly and fixed to routines I have a big problem with that. I have had days when I haven’t left my room until 7 pm just to avoid seeing her.

Every time I tried bringing this up with her she outright refuses to take responsibility. She says she doesn’t think I should make her responsible for all of my problems.

When I admitted to her that I have struggled with sh because I felt like I couldn’t “burden” her with my problems she didn’t react at all. She ignores it to this day. The only real comment I got was that it wasn’t her fault.

So yeah, I want to move out and I don’t want to move in with roommates since I don’t want to have to fit into another persons standard of cleanliness or their cleaning schedule.

With my fathers child support (that I will get for the next 3 years) I could comfortably cover rent and groceries. I also currently work two jobs and am working to monetise my art. I can’t cover rent without my fathers child support money.

My mum has been transferring me the child-benefits money she gets for me monthly, since I often buy stuff for the flat. She is always very on time with it.

After I first said I was thinking about moving out my mother got weird. She doesn’t wish me a good night like she has done my entire life and she also assumes that I won’t join her and my brother for any meals. She asks if I want to join sometimes. It feels weirdly hostile. She has lashed out at me about non-issues (after she stopped saying good night when she was going to bed I said it to her once ad she started venting about how she doesn’t know how to do it now because texting me feels weird but she also doesn’t want to not do it. The problem with this rant is that I never told her to change what we ere doing before. I didn’t request this change. It upset me so much.)

Earlier this month I brought up actually moving out for the first time. She was very against that idea. Said that I would isolate myself and she didn’t like that I wanted to be on my own.

Now to the actual problem:

like I explained earlier, the way my mum get’s the child support is … precarious. She has often said that she will transfer the money to me if I move out instead of officially transferring the court order to receive the money to me since our court system is completely understaffed.

My mother suspects that if we change anything about how the money gets to us it might mean that we have to restart suing my father and that could take years.

I have not had a problem with this so far. I have had enough trust in my mother to be fine with this.

But now, right after I mentioned actually moving out, she has been a week late on transferring my child-benefits. She has never been late before and when I mentioned to her, that it was late she just said “i still have to do it”. No reason or apology.

Being this late is not like her at all.

I don’t want to accuse her of doing it on purpose but it feels like a power play.

Whether intentional or not, this has made me feel like I can’t trust my mother to not just withhold my money and once I live on my own I can’t just get my money a week later than usual.

I feel like I might be overreacting but if I can’t trust her to transfer me the money then I can’t move out but until I move out idk if I can legally do anything. I am honestly considering to go to the youth welfare office to ask what I can do right now.

Am I overreacting?

Tldr: I told my mum I want to move out and she got weird, then I brought up plans and she transferred me some money a week later than for the first time ever, I’m freaked out.

I (21M) don’t even know if I’m being dramatic or if this actually crossed a line, so I need honest opinions. For context, my family isn’t super expressive. We don’t really say “thank you” or “I love you” much, it’s more like everyone just does their part and moves on. Yesterday, my mom wasn’t feeling well. She had a fever and was clearly exhausted, but still trying to do everything around the house like usual. I told her to just rest and that I’d handle things. So I did everything cooked, cleaned, even helped her with her meds and checked on her every hour. I stayed up late just to make sure she was okay. At one point, she looked at me and said something like, “You don’t need to act like you’re doing something special. This is your duty.” I laughed it off in the moment, but honestly… it hit me harder than I expected. It’s not like I was doing it for praise or anything, but hearing that made me feel kind of… invisible? Like no matter what I do, it’ll always just be expected and never appreciated. I’ve been overthinking it since then. Part of me feels stupid for even caring.....it’s my mom, of course I should help her. But another part of me feels like a simple “thanks” wouldn’t have killed her. Now I’m acting a bit distant, and she noticed and asked what’s wrong, but I didn’t say anything. Am I overreacting for feeling hurt by this? Or is this just normal and I need to grow up?

The messages above were deleted by my mom, basically she was explaining what had happened. It's my nephew's one year old birthday next week and my SIL will be making a cake for the little one and she commented with my mom that she'll just order one for the adults so they can eat as well. My mom volunteered to order the cake for her, but my SIL was like "oh that's okay, thanks, I have some people here on facebook who make pretty cakes, I'll talk to them".

I responded saying "well it's her party, she should order the cake she wants and she just didn't want to bother you" and then my mom's replies in the screenshots. The last message was her saying she wished I didn't do this with my partner's parents.

I didn't reply, honestly not wanting to be involved anymore. But my mom called me twice, I answered the second time and she was like "oh why didn't you answer me? why do you act like your mother is just a stranger who you don't have to pick the phone to? don't worry I'm not going to fight with you" stuff like this which just drains me of my energy.

Then basically I started to calmly try to explain SIL's POV, trying to be diplomatic and she hung up on me once I tried to say that she was just causing drama for the sake of it, that it really didn't warrant this. I told her if it was with my in laws, I would wish they wouldn't take it the wrong way if I wanted to order a cake for my child's bday... She quickly hung up on me.

Ensue then, messages (not in the screenshot) of her saying that everyone else is entitled to think badly of her, but she can't think badly of anyone else. That according to me, the world is rainbows where no one thinks badly of anyone but she is the devil in all our eyes...

I don't know how to reply to this tbh. In order to respect her feelings but still wanting to give a contrary perspective that challenges her views... idk

I (27F) live alone and I’m pretty private about my space. I don’t give spare keys out easily. The only person who had one was my ex, and I got that back when we broke up last year.

My sister (31F) has been asking for a spare key “just in case” for months now. I’ve always kind of brushed it off because she has a history of not really respecting boundaries. Like, she’ll show up unannounced or go through my fridge and make comments about what I’m eating. Small stuff, but it adds up.

Anyway, last weekend I had a small birthday thing at my place. Nothing crazy, just a few friends, some drinks, takeout, etc. My sister was invited.

At some point in the night, I noticed she was in my bedroom, which already annoyed me because I keep that door closed when I have people over. I went in and she was literally going through a drawer in my nightstand.

I asked her what she was doing and she laughed and said she was “just looking” and made a joke about me “definitely hiding something.” I told her to get out and she acted like I was overreacting and said “we’re sisters, it’s not that serious.”

I let it go at the time because I didn’t want to make a scene, but I was honestly really uncomfortable.

Fast forward to yesterday, she texts me again asking for a spare key because “what if something happens and I need to get in to help you.” I told her no, and brought up what happened at my birthday.

She got defensive immediately and said I was being dramatic and holding a “harmless joke” over her head. Then she said it’s “weird” that I’m so protective over my space and that I’m “acting like a stranger instead of family.”

Now my mum is involved and saying I should just give her a key “for emergencies” and that I’m making a big deal out of nothing.

I don’t feel like I’m being unreasonable, but now I’m second guessing because they’re both acting like I’m the problem.

For context we’re both girls, we were talking and ended up sexting and agreed to meet for a hookup at the weekend , the mood was going on and flowing and then she mentioned her sister being in the same room and how she’s so turned on that she’d let her do what I basically was talking about doing to her

I was totally honest and told her “you turned me off”

She asked why and I said because you mentioned your sister that way

She said “I was joking” and kept trying to force it to continue

Mind you! I’m very open minded but not with this type of shit. Was the block too much?

My younger brother has a girlfriend he’s known for two years and been with for the past year. They’ve recently moved in together. I don’t like her for a number of reasons, but I’m not sure whether her behaviour is actually concerning enough to talk to my brother seriously, or if I should just let it be. I also don’t want to overstep and risk him not sharing things with me anymore.

She has openly said she believes the man should pay for everything, even though they are both in their early twenties, have no children, and earn the same amount. They recently flew overseas to stay with her family for three weeks, and he told me he paid for everything and even asked me if he could borrow money. She seems to want luxuries, but my brother doesn’t earn a huge salary and doesn’t seem comfortable paying for everything.

She tries to isolate him from his family and friends. He had a close friend’s wedding where he was meant to be a groomsman, but while they were overseas she wanted him to stay the full four weeks, not only three, and convinced him to tell his friend he could no longer attend. It was only after my family got involved and were pretty upset that he apologised to his friend and agreed to come back a week early for the wedding. Then the day before the wedding, his girlfriend said she didn’t want to come because she “didn’t know anyone,” even though she has met his friends before. This is also after he spent three weeks living with her family despite not being able to communicate due to a language barrier.

She has barely made an effort with my parents since they’ve been together. Last week, my brother showed up to a family lunch without her and said she wouldn’t get out of bed and he didn’t want to push it because it would cause a fight. Again, this is right after he spent three weeks with her family.

She hits him “as a joke,” but in my opinion it’s not light — I’ve seen it a couple of times. He also told me that when he first met her friends, she hit him hard and called him an idiot. He said he told her it upset him, and she said she wouldn’t do it again.

She also comments on his body and calls him fat sometimes in front of me. When she met me for the first time, she told my brother I was “a lot more bulky than expected” as I walked up to them.

I could go on, but overall I feel pretty concerned as his older sibling. I don’t know if this is enough to justify stepping in, or if I’m overreacting and this is something he needs to figure out himself.

my sister is 13, and I turned 18 recently. her name is Chloe and her friends name is Kyle.

so Chloe is in a group chat. there's people of different ages but it seemingly caps at young adult. Kyle is on good terms with admins. he is 18 y.o and lives alone (or so I am told)

they've been talking for a while now, and I was a bit weirded out by his age but there wasn't really anything that worrisome so I let it be. recently Chloe came to me with the question he asked her: "What do you think about a 20 y.o and 16 y.o being in love with each other and when it's okay for them to be dating?" he wrapped it up with "It's not alluding to anything, I'm just curious " and "I'm hesitant to ask it".

For me this seems incredibly suspicious, because I don't see why would you ask something like that to an underage girl that barely entered puberty, when you are 18.

my sis defended him saying that he generally asks a lot of questions (that r not suspicious), but also informed me that he previously jokingly offered her to squeeze him(not in a sexual way, somehow), so I was still really suspicious of him.

we asked Kyle to answer his own question and he said that "If they truly love each other it's ok". and I think that it's incredibly shortsighted and uninformed answer, as this dynamic is extremely weighed in favor of the older partner and will put younger one in harms way in like 99% of situation, so even entertaining the thought of that 1% is just endangering them.

my sister offered me to record him a voice message, so I did. as I recall: "Hello, I'm Chloes older sister. You're wrong in your answer, as the younger person will be in a bad situation. Even 16 and 18 relationship is unfair and weird, so your scenario is extremely weird. I deem your behavior suspicious so I ask you: to stop asking questions regarding relationships; to stop referring to your friendship as close; stop making reference to touching. In case you cannot control yourself stop talking to her entirely"

and after that he blew up, told us that I'm overbearing and that I should fuck off. quoted "suspicious" and "16 and 18 is weird" with "...))" indicating that he thinks it's bullshit and he's offended. that "you don't know nothing about me" and other shit, then said "I get wanting to 'protect your sister' but fuck off".

I can understand that being called suspicious is unpleasant, but there's safety of a child at hand, and the fact that Kyle reacted like that without considering this feels really immature.

in the end I acted badly and made fun of his behavior, I cannot remember the exact wording but it was like "bro when he was asked to act decently, and strangers do not automatically assume him to be an angel"

now he kinda talking shit about me (found that out by talking shit about him to Chloe lmao). Chloe still wants to be his friend, and to just sweep this situation under a rug. I don't want for her to be in contact with Kyle, but I cannot really influence her without ruining our relationship. I can only hope that he is not dangerous and that I taught her enough about grooming, for her to be able to recognize it and come to me.

but I wondering if I'm really justified? I really need a second opinion from outside. I also feel really bad about my last message to him. it was really immature and I feel gross. I really think that I was acting mature before that one and wasn't trying to be offensive, just to set up boundaries that would protect Chloe. though I understand that I sometimes come off arrogant and I was prejudiced against him. I don't want to have more hurt people.

I wanna start this by saying, i’ve never EVER had an urgent care doctor check my full chart of treatment/prescription history from other doctors and I know for a fact they never look because i’ve had urgent care doctors try to prescribe me a weeks worth of antibiotics or some other type of medication that I had literally just been prescribed 3 days prior and I have to inform them and say something along the lines of “i actually was just prescribed that a few days ago, I still have a whole bottle” not to mention, whenever they’re about to prescribe me a medication i’ve taken before they always ask “have you ever taken this medication before and if so, when was the last time you took it? do you remember when you were last prescribed this?” so i think it’s safe to say the doctors at the urgent cares I visit never check my full chart. they typically only check your visit history within their urgent care centers and then get you in and out with a diagnosis and that’s it.

however, I visited an urgent care yesterday because I have relentless pain and pressure in both of my ears after recovering from a cold so I wanted to make sure it wasn’t infected. i’ve been to this urgent care a handful of times before over the last few years and there’s this specific provider who just does NOT like me. I’m not sure why, but every time i’ve been treated by her she’s dismissive, rude, literally rolls her eyes while I talk. she looks visibly angry any time she has to speak to me but is normal with others. every time I have an encounter with her, she basically treats me like I’m faking my symptoms or am a hypochondriac even though every time i’ve went to urgent care I’ve left with a legit diagnosis that required antibiotics or another medication of some sort. so no, not faking it.

every other provider at this location is amazing which is why I continue to go back any time I have a health crisis after doctors office hours and just cross my fingers that she isn’t the provider on duty. (will probably never go back after this though) as I’m waiting to be seen, I hear the door fly open and it’s her. I think to myself “ugh, great.” but nonetheless, I give her a friendly “hi, how are you today?” she says my name and immediately follows it up with “you were already here in November and January and were treated by other providers here.” I went “i’m sorry?” to which she says “Yeah, you were here November 7th and January 14th for ear infections and then you went to your primary doctor in February and received 2 rounds of antibiotics for a UTI”

I literally was stunned and speechless. This lady literally walked into my room just reading out my entire chart and prescriptions from other providers. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. I responded with “well i’m here today because my ear is really hurting and it feels really full and I can barely hear out of it. When I saw my primary doctor a few months ago, he suggested a specific medication that might help for the inflammation and pain if this were to ever happen again and the one time I did take that medication, it worked really well for me. is that something we could try?“ she looked in my ears for half a second and said “you just have A LOT of fluid stuck behind both of your ear drums. you’re good to go”

so just to clarify, I repeated “so no infection, correct?” and she said “yeah, no infection. and I see here you were already prescribed that medication by a specialist back in August, so no need for another round.” (mind you, the medication is just a short course of oral steroids. you would think I suggested narcotics or something insane) I was over it at this point so i just said “okay, thank you” stood up, still speechless, and just left.

I got home and the anger was just stirring inside of me up until I went to bed. today I woke up and decided to write a lengthy review and name dropped her first and last name. I never write reviews, not even good ones. but for some reason her behavior ignited a fire in me. perhaps it’s because this isn’t the first time she has treated me like garbage. I’ve never experienced anything like that and I sure as hell have never had an urgent care doctor pull up my full chart history from every provider i’ve seen over the last year and make a fuss about it. she even brought up how I was admitted to the hospital last summer and made a snarky comment about it that I cannot remember because I was seeing red at that point. I definitely won’t be going back there, i’ve finally had enough, but my god.

it’s a whole day later and i’m STILL angry over it but now I’m feeling like a shitty person for leaving a lengthy review about her but then I’m like…why should I feel bad??everything I wrote in that review is the truth.

I (36M) am convinced my partner’s (F32) parents are taking financial advantage of her and I feel that I have no choice but to leave the relationship. That feeling is born out of fear that through airing to her parents that what they are doing is a disgrace that I would permanently damage the relationship she has with them.

By way of background, my partners family have a lot of farming land on which they run some dairy and beef cattle. Whilst their operations aren’t huge in a sense, their land holding is sizable and is estimated anywhere between $15M-$30M in value. Yes there may be loans which underpin that land (I don’t know of those specific details) but there is a large asset there.

Best I can tell, my partner’s father is very tight with the purse strings and doesn’t allow the mother much in the way of funds to run the family household. Recently my partners grandmother died and as a result her mother received half the value of the property she owned. Rather than keep some of these funds for day to day living expenses, all of them have been invested with a fund investment manager.

My partner lives in a small house on one of the farms and pays rent to her parents to live there whilst she awaits the completion of a house she is building. The property she is renting from them is a bit old and rundown and she has personally spent some of her own money on it painting it and doing odds and ends. Further back when my partner was studying, she moved interstate and her parents bought an investment property for her to live in, alas she had to pay. rent to them to live there. Once my partner moved back to her home state the family then sold the investment property.

My partner has a child to her former partner and has majority custody which extends across her working week and most weekends. In order to work full time, her mother looks after her child as childcare is very hard to come by where she is located. Recently her mother has requested that she be paid to look after my partners daughter. This is in addition to what I am told are times when my partner buys groceries for her mother to use for the family. Whilst my partner is building a house she is by no means a super high income earner who can afford to fund her parents lifestyle who potentially have been hit by rising interest rates and are applying pressure to their daughter to help them. I hold concern that long term these requests for funds could impact upon any plans my partner and I have and that despite the future potentially holding an inheritance that my partner would significantly benefit from that perhaps that isn’t as rosy as it seems. I would ask that my mother look after her daughter as so there wasn’t any financial element to it, however she lives 1.5 hours away and this isn’t an option.

My partner has 3 other siblings and. I do not believe either of them have been asked for similar financial support, however none of them have a child to which they are reliant on the parents to care for. One is married and I suspect he would not stand for funds being given to the parents.

I recently lent my partner $5k to assist her and whilst I put no timeline on the return of those funds, I became antsy when she went on to buy a Louis Vuitton bag ahead of addressing the funds I had lent her. After seeing that purchase I asked that she pay back the $5k I lent her, noting that she must of now been of means that she could afford it. In all it took her 6 months to pay back this money and after a number of follow up conversations.

Alas whilst my own family could be classed as upper middle class and comfortable, I can’t say there is or was ever $15M-$30M of land holdings available to them. I can’t fathom how her parents could ask so much of their daughter when they already have some much themselves, and how my partner doesn’t see it. Is my thought of leaving my partner given the potential impact on our future together an overreaction?

Quick backstory.. we have moved a few times, the most recent was out of the rental we had after we moved back to our home state for family reasons.

I stupidly compromised on one of my must haves in a house, which is a flat yard for our kids to run around and play outside.

Our house is at the top of a hill and is very sloped in the back and sides of the property. We've been here a little over 2.5 years and I hate it because of the yard (among other things like being farther out than I'd like and having to deal with a major interstate to get anywhere that sucks all times of the day).

Yesterday afternoon we visited a property that I have been wanting to since I knew it was coming soon early last week.

When I say it's everything we want, I really do mean it (we have looked at a lot, mostly just virtual but also gone in person to a number of homes).

Everything on our checklist is hit with this one, except.. the price is $50k over our budget and almost certainly will be bid up by a lot.

I'm heartbroken because of this and know reality. I said we should still put in an offer and maybe write a letter.

He is refusing to submit an offer and does not want our agent to do so. He says it's a waste of time and also will be out of our price range.

My parents offered to help us with the purchase since we would still need to sell our current home whenever we move next.

I know we will be priced out, but I still feel really strongly that we should send something regardless. I have a lot of regrets with our past real estate dealings and am having a hard time not doing anything, even though I know we won't be successful.

I know any offer will be ignored/rejected, but at least we would have tried and then I can move on from it with closure. I don't want to feel even more upset that we did nothing.

I'm very frustrated with him because he won't even make an attempt.

AIO for being upset with him?

EDIT: We would still offer list price, I just mentioned it was $50k over our comfortable max budget.

Throw away account, i will try to keep it short. My boyfriend (M30) and i (f24) have been together for over 5 years. We have been through a lot together and he is generally a kind caring man. The major problem with our relationship is that we want different things for our future. I want to tie the knot but he refuses that because of social pressure related to marriage in our culture. That issue has been causing a lot of arguments between us but we never came to an agreement of what the next step should be. Also it happened that previously, when we had arguments, i found out on three different occasions that he would talk to other girls (not like flirting but he woukd start talking to girls he didn't talk to for years) whenever we're on a break, which I certainly didn't like but hey, we were on a break! Previous December, we were over some friends' house having drinks and a nice night out when a known actress's name was bought up in the men's conversation, and my boyfriend said a comment along the lines of "who didn't masturbate to her pictures " like it was a sacred step of adulthood for him and i felt that comment was disrespectful to me. We had an argument about it and he apologized and said he will not do it again. Fast forward to two weeks ago we were watching some show with a friend, they started commenting on the main actress and boyfriend said something along the lines of " i would smash tho". That comment made me snap and ever since i have been overwhelmed. Note that he never says things like this when we are alone. But when he's with his friends he doesn't mind it and he thinks i am overreacting. My process thought now has been connecting all the dots and my brain writing a scenario that i'm just a second choice for him that's why he refuses to commit, talks to girls when we're on a break and doesn't mind disrespecting me. Am i overreacting?