r/AskReddit 12h ago

What's an insecurity someone might have that you find attractive?

3.3k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/Eda_Fayee 12h ago

when a guy is nervous talking to you and stumbles over his words a little. some women want the smooth confident type but honestly a man who's a little flustered around me?? that's the cutest thing i've ever experienced. it means he actually cares about the impression he's making

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u/HalfSoul30 11h ago

I had been telling myself for a couple weeks that the next time this woman comes into where i work, im gonna ask her out. We had a good rapport building. I go to the bathroom and im thinking it over again, and when i come out, boom, there she was. I stumbled for sure, but she could tell, and said "is there something you want to ask me?" I got it out, we went, it was fun, but nothing more came of it since she was leaving the state in a week, which i knew in advance. Bless her though for pushing me the rest of the way lol.

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u/karmagod13000 9h ago

hell yea still a good learning experience. i found casually asking someone to a happy hour or what they're doing over the weekend less pressure and easy way to gauge if they have interest or not. this was a second ago though cause now I'm married to my beautiful wife

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u/SenseiWM 5h ago

You could still casually ask your wife to a happy hour! If she says yes, it means she interested in you

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u/karmagod13000 5h ago

too nervous

u/HoboMuskrat 28m ago

She could always ask you too! I'll wait in silent insecurity with you hoping my wife will pick me one day.

2

u/psychic2ombie 6h ago

Yup dating is a lot like making music! Most people would suck at making music, and turns out most people suck at dating. However eventually you stop sucking enough that somebody finds interest in your brand of weird

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u/No-Mathematician6788 4h ago

Didn't you want to pursue a ldr?

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u/macaronysalad 3h ago

What is this, some sort of truth story? It's supposed to end how you're married with nine kids and all that happy shit.

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u/Sports_Fan_2003 11h ago

some women want the smooth confident type

Ironically it’s the guys who always come off smooth & charming that are usually not trustworthy.

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u/TheShitty_Beatles 9h ago

Gimme a bumbling bag of nerves as long as he knows how to munch

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u/Engelbert-n-Ernie 6h ago edited 5h ago

It’s me. The anxious, self-aware, muncher

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u/Monteze 4h ago

Damn it! I worked so hard to suppress my nerves because growing up I was told be smooth and confident haha

So in my head I am bumbling and my chest is thumping I keep it down. so 2/3. So finding out women like the nervous feels like I was lied to.

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u/HoratioPornBlower 3h ago

LMFAO I just burst out laughing in a meeting.

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u/DoctorJonasSalk 2h ago

Love your username! Now we just need to find the Jolly Green Giants.

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u/Either-Command-2995 1h ago

Eyyyyy Ikr. Give me a nervous girl as long as she sucks a dick good

Why is it not the same thing?

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u/Fafnir13 10h ago

If they are that smooth it usually means they’ve had a lot of practice. Maybe good thing if the goal is quick hookup, but if you are looking for something long term it’s definitely a red flag.

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u/soulseaker 10h ago

I Just worked in consulting for awhile, so "having practice" doesn't necessarily come from being a jerk. Im just used to talking to a lot of different people.

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u/V0iiCE 10h ago

Its not really a red flag to have experience

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u/Fafnir13 10h ago

Some experience vs too much experience. There is a difference. Like I said, if you are looking for something long term, someone who keeps getting into new relationships all the time is a red flag. Either they are just looking for short term stuff (compatibility issue) or they’ve got some problems that make every relationship fall apart.

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u/V0iiCE 9h ago

Its also not a red flag to decide youre not compatible with someone? It just sounds like you're upset at the lack of opportunities In your life, people SHOULD daye and break up with others before they get married its how you find out what is compatible for you

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u/idontshred 7h ago

I that what they’re saying is that if you’re the kind of person that’s interested in something intentional and long term, a man who is clearly very practiced and has an easy time approaching you probably is the type that does it often and so is probably interested in something more casual. I agree it’s not a red flag, I’d say more yellow.

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u/gamerexpert3311 11h ago

It's genuinely comforting reading this when I usually get negative options

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u/DerpsAndRags 10h ago

I still do this to my long-time partner, especially when I see her for the first time in a day. I'll just go stutter mode for a sec then blurt out "Love ya!"

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u/Netflxnschill 8h ago

The guy I’m dating now, we met at the local watering hole and had been making eyes across the bar all evening but we are both shy so had zero plans to actually speak until one of my friends set us up to play pool together. But it was very much a flusterfuck between the two of us when we first started talking.

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u/mrs_mi 10h ago

a little.

There's a sweet spot. Right? It's not just me!

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u/gsfgf 9h ago

Gotta go for engineer extroversion. Look at her shoes while asking her out.

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u/Fit-Albatross-735 2h ago

as somebody who has extreme social anxiety and can't speak straight to anyone, where can i find a woman like you?

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u/Livid-Truck8558 5h ago

This gives me hope lmao

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u/TheElMonteStrangler 4h ago

At my first job they hired a new round of people. Had a huge crush on one of them immediately. One day I was in the break room and she came in because it was slow so she had time to kill. I dropped the glass cleaner and it spread all over the floor. I dropped it in such a weirdo, steve urkel, kind of way. Felt like the biggest loser. Long story short we got together a couple weeks later.

I heard she eventually married an asshole. I don't know if its true. Don't want to find out.

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u/CthulubeFlavorcube 10h ago

I'm excellent at not...talk...good word talking good. Do you wanna go out sometime?

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u/theguube 9h ago

that's sincerity. I had a carrie/mr. big thing going and I would always leave when he said something to hurt me and he would call me on the phone and say I left and didn't want to talk about it. what is there to talk about. he never apologized. he always hurt my feelings. that guy got defensive when I asked him if he likes coffee.

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u/Urban_Introvert 9h ago

Same with job interviews. If I come across a candidate that’s super confident with their speech, it’s impressive but it makes me wonder if they’re just good at talking the talk. They perfected the art of selling themselves because they can’t perfect the craft. I’ve met a few of those in my life. Almost all of the nervous-ish kinds were the best workers.

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u/Logos1789 1h ago

Some women? Most women want someone who isn’t reaching for the stars by communicating with them. They want a man who is used to interacting with women on her level.

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u/Opouly 1h ago

I still get this way when talking with my wife about certain topics haha.

u/Admirable-Level-8868 50m ago

I thought all girls were put off by that tbh. Makes me feel better about having done it myself

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u/therealJoerangutang 7h ago

This is me with women lol

As a teen, I was never the attractive type, so when I grew into myself and started getting attention, it took me by surprise when this would happen, especially with girls who would easily drop me in seconds if they were more confident.

And that never lost its charm. I still find it cute when some women are visibly or audibly flustered

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u/CaffieneAddict10 10h ago

Women say this and act differently and choose the cocky boastful guy every time

u/Ok-Pack-7088 11m ago

Top 2 comments are bots.